Deal With The Devil
by Raphs No.1 Girl
Summary: When offered the chance to sacrifice his own life to ensure the continued safety of his family, one turtle willing accepts. But what has he gotten himself into?
1. The Dream

DISCLAIMER: I do not own TMNT (except in my dreams).

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Okay, so here's my second TMNT fanfic. I'm aiming to make this one several chapters long, and am hoping to update every week or so (probably more often depending on the number of reviews I get - hint hint). Hope you enjoy it - please read and review. :)

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Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom. He could feel his pulse racing, his heart beating so fast he could hardly distinguish one beat from then next.

Thump. Thump. Thump. He could feel his feet running across the hard ground, making a rhythmic sound as they went.

His muscles were beginning to ache, his lungs starting to burn as he drew in yet another sharp breath of cold night air. But, although his body was screaming at him to stop and rest for a moment, he knew he had to continue running.

Suddenly, he heard it again. Someone was calling to him, from somewhere far away. He slowed ever so slightly, so that he could better hear the direction it was coming from. His ears strained, trying to listen for it again over the sound of the roaring wind. His heart skipped a beat – there it was again. He turned and began running to where he thought the voice was coming from.

"Where are you?!" The voice yelled. He ran faster, desperate to reach them. Now he was no longer watching where he was going – everything seemed to pass in a blur. Suddenly, as he took a leap onto the next rooftop, he realised – too late – that he had misjudged the distance. Straining to reach the other side, he just made it, his toes gripping the edge o the next roof. He lost his balance, falling backwards over the edge. He plunged downwards, hurtling towards the hard concrete ground. Dropping to almost certain death. Then, just as he was about to smash into the pavement – he woke up.

A thin layer of cold sweat covered his skin, and his breath was coming in short gasps. Looking around in confusion, he was relieved to see the familiar sight of his room. There were his weights stacked in the corner, dirty laundry strewn across the floor, amongst piles of junk. He glanced upwards – he had fallen out of his hammock again. Standing up, he stretched and yawned, before glancing at his alarm clock – 6am. He was never usually up this early. He debated going back to bed, but didn't fancy the idea of reliving that dream – the same dream he had been having for a while now, ever since their last battle with the Shredder. He went and had a quick shower, before tying his mash around his face and shoving his Sais into his belt. He then left his room to see who else was awake.

He wasn't surprised to hear the clash of metal coming from the dojo – Leo was obviously getting some early morning training, as usual. He glanced towards the living room – Donny was sitting on the couch watching the news, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He then sniffed the air – the mouth-watering scent of bacon and eggs filled his nostrils – Mikey was obviously cooking breakfast. Finally, he glanced over to Master Splinters room – the flickering if candles could be seen as always, giving off a comforting glow. His sensei was usually meditating at this time of the morning, just before he came out to watch his stories on TV. Raph smiled to himself and sighed, an unusual feeling of peace washing over him – this was his family, his home. He strode into the kitchen, to go see if his baby brother needed a hand.

"Mornin Mikey."

"Oh, hey Raph. You're up early," he turned to look at his brother. He seemed to know at a glance that something was bothering him. "You had that dream again, didn't you?"

Raph was tempted to say no – he didn't want to let his little bro know something as silly as a dream was bothering him. But somehow, he had never been able to lie to Mikey. "Yeah, Mikey. I did."

Mikey turned back to his cooking. He was a little concerned – it was unlike his second-oldest brother to act like this, especially over something as seemingly harmless as a dream. It must have been bad for it to have shook Raph up this much. He thought for a moment, carefully turning the fried eggs over (he knew his brother didn't like his yolks runny, so he thought he'd do them the way Raph enjoyed them – perhaps a nice fry-up for breakfast would cheer him up a bit). "Why don't you talk to Master Splinter about it? You know he's always been good with dreams and stuff." Mikey knew this was a slightly dangerous suggestion – he knew it had been difficult for Raph to admit his feeling to him, let alone admit them to their sensei. So he was not surprised when Raph replied,

"Nah, Mikey. It was just a dream…it was nuthin," his attitude seemed to change suddenly as he warned, "If you dare tell anyone else about this Mikey, I'll…" But he didn't have to finish his threat before Mikey quickly nodded, reassuring Raph that he would never tell anyone about it. Satisfied, Raph nodded, before leaving the kitchen and heading for the dojo. He needed to have a go at his punching bag – it always helped calm him down.

However, although no one said anything, everyone noticed a difference in Raph. He was moodier than usual, and spent a lot more time on his own. They'd noticed this change come over him not long after their last battle with the Shredder. Leo was tempted to ask him about it, but thought better of it – he knew Raph too well. He would just have to wait until Raph himself revealed what was going on. He suspected Mikey knew what was going on – Raph and Mikey had always been very close – but he didn't want to force Mikey to betray Raph. And Donny – well, he'd spent so much time in his lab recently, he wasn't even sure if Donny had even noticed anything was wrong. He sighed, watching Raph hit his punch bag, before returning to his training.


	2. The Message

Okay, so I couldn't resist giving you a little bit more of the story. But I am determined not to update again today. :)

BTW, I still don't own TMNT :(

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Raph sighed as he breathed in the cool night air. From his rooftop position, he could see the bright lights and hear all the familiar sounds of the city. He watched a group of people walking down the street, laughing and joking with each other. He gave a faint smile, before continuing with his nightly run. He did this every night so that he could escape form the lair, and let off some steam. With any luck, he might even run into a couple of Purple Dragons – he could do with a bit of a workout. As he leaped onto the next rooftop, he stopped. He was being followed. He turned, drawing his sai, but could see no one. He shook his head, putting his sai away again, and was about to continue his run, when he saw a black shape in his peripheral vision. With lightning speed, he turned and grabbed the Foot Ninja round the throat.

"You picked the wrong night, pal," he snarled through gritted teeth, pulling back his fist, ready to hit him.

"I…have…a…message," the ninja gasped, struggling to breathe because of Raph's tight grip. Raph raised an eyebrow, loosening his grip just a little. The ninja reached into a hidden pocket and withdrew a black envelope, with the seal of the Foot on it.

"A message, eh?" Raph eyed the envelope in the ninja's hand. "A bit late to be delivering the mail, don't cha think?" He grabbed the envelope from the ninja's hand, releasing the young man at the same time. Without hesitation, the ninja sprinted away, disappearing into the night. Tearing open the envelope, Raph quickly read the letter. His eyes narrowed, and his forehead creased as he neared the end of the letter, before he crumpled it in his fist. He would have to show this to the others – he didn't really want to, but he knew they would want to see it.

Racing into the lair, he was surprised to find them all standing there waiting for him. They waited for him to get his breath back, before Leo asked,

"What's wrong, Raph? Master Splinter sensed you were coming, and that you were…erm… troubled about something." He then noticed the letter, still crumpled in Raph's hand. He reached out and took it from him. He glanced at his other two brothers' questioning faces, before beginning to read it out loud.

"Greetings, turtles. My name is Karai – I am the daughter of the Shredder. After my father's recent defeat at your hands, I have now taken over leadership of the Foot Clan. Honour commands that I take revenge upon my father's murderers, and I am not without honour. However, I have a proposition for you. Meet me tomorrow at midnight, in the same place my Foot ninja delivered this note to you. Do not be late, or I shall take that as a sign that you have declined my offer. Be waned, I do not take rejection lightly." It was signed with the mark of the Foot.

"Whoa, dude. Is this, like, some kind of joke?" Mikey looked confused. Donny frowned, taking the note from Leo.

"I'll run some tests – then we'll know if this is genuine." He dashed off to the lab. Mikey, Leo and Raph looked at each other and shrugged.

"I guess we'll have to wait until Donny has checked it out," Leo said.

A few hours later, Donny came running out of his lab. The others stared at him, the question they were desperate to ask written plainly on their faces.

"It's genuine," Donny said.

"Since when did Shredder have a daughter?" Mikey asked, "He never seemed like the father type, to me." He grinned, trying to imagine the Shredder reading a little girl a bedtime story.

"So, Fearless Leader, what are we gonna do?" Raph asked, folding his arms across his chest and looking at his older brother. The blue- masked turtle frowned. There was something about this that was totally wrong. Shredder's daughter wanted to make a deal with them, after they killed her father? He had a bad feeling about this.

"I…I don't know. Let me think it over – I'll come to a decision tomorrow. We should all get some rest now." The turtles then dispersed, for once deciding to do what Leo said – if they did get to meet this Karai tomorrow, they had no idea what to expect.

Leo didn't come to a decision until that evening. He had been meditating for a while, and had talked things over with Master Splinter. Finally, just before 6pm, he announced his decision to the others.

"We're not going." Leo stated firmly. Donny and Mikey didn't know what to say – but they knew what Raph was going to do. They quickly escaped to the kitchen, not wanting to be involved in what came next.

"Whaddya mean, we're not goin'?!" Raph yelled, his temper flaring. Leo remained calm, which just enraged Raph further. "We gotta go show this Karai that we ain't afraid of her, or her little ninjas!"

"Raph," Leo spoke calmly, "We don't know this Karai – we have no idea what to expect if we go meet her. For all we know, she could be leading us into a trap."

"A trap?" Raph guffawed, "Come on, Leo – we've seen off the foot before, and we can do it again. There's no way we couldn't get out of any trap they lured us into!"

Leo was beginning to los his temper now. "Raph, I said no! We aren't going to meet her!"

"Why not?! C'mon, fearless leader, don't tell me you don't wanna know what she was going say?"

"RAPH! I'm the leader, so I say what we do and when we do it! We're not going, and that's an end to it!" Now Leo had done it. At his mention of being the leader, Raph saw red. He lunged at Leo with a roar, and before Leo had time to react, Raph had pushed him to the floor. Raph had always been the strongest of his brothers, and as such he was also the heaviest, so as he knelt on top of Leo's plastron, Leo found himself unable to move out of the way. Raph pulled his fist back, before launching it forward until it connected with Leo's cheek. Leo felt a tooth cut the inside of his mouth, and a little blood seeped out of his mouth. Raph stood up, glared at his older brother who was still lying on the floor, and stalked into his own bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Leo sighed, rubbing his cheek – he feared Raph's hotheadedness would one day land him in more trouble than he could get out of. He then went into the kitchen to get an ice pack. Holding it against his cheek, he saw his two other brothers sitting at the table, staring at him.

"Leo, you don't think Raph would go, do you?" Mikey asked, fearful his red-clad brother would get himself into trouble.

Leo just shrugged, so Donny quickly replied. "Come on, Mikey. Not even Raph would be so stupid as to go to meet an unknown enemy by himself. He's just angry – he'll calm down and see sense soon enough." They all hoped he was right.


	3. The Deal

_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own TMNT (if I did, they would never have been given pupils/iris in BTTS, and if they had, Raph would have had brown eyes and Mikey would have had blue!)_

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Raph glanced at his alarm clock. 11:15pm. Good, that would give him enough time to sneak out of the lair, and get to the meeting place. Shoving his sai into his leather belt, he opened his door just a fraction. As he expected, all was quiet in the lair. Everyone must have gone to bed. He had made an appearance at dinner, acting as though everything was okay. That we, he had thought to himself, they would think he was over it, and so wouldn't wait up to see if he tried to sneak out. He thought about leaving a note for them, but decided against it. What was the point – he'd most likely be back by morning. He tiptoed out of the lair – which was more difficult than it would have been for his brothers because his bulk and weight limited his stealth. However, he made it without waking anyone up, and avoiding Donny's security alarms, and was soon climbing out of a manhole cover and into the night. He arrived at the appointed meeting place with a few minutes to spare. He twirled his sai on his fingers while he waited. He suddenly became alerted to a presence – they were here. He turned, and sure enough there stood a group of foot ninja. He stood in a defensive position, just in case. However, the ninjas began to part, and he soon came face-to-face with Karai. She was not wearing all of shredders armour, just his gauntlet, but he would have known her anyway because of how respectful the other ninjas were towards her. She bowed to him. Surprised, he bowed back, hardly knowing what he was doing.

"Greetings, Raphael." She said. He must have looked shocked because she then said, "yes, I know who you are. I suspected it would be you that came." She gave a small chuckle although it did not sound like she was laughing in a good way.

"Look, lady, I ain't got all night," Raph growled, still holding his sai. "In yer note ya mentioned a deal. I'm here ta talk about that, not make small talk."

"Of course," Karai smirked. She seemed to consider, before saying, "As I said in my letter, honour commands that I avenge my father's death by slaying those who killed him. However, I will waive this right if you accept my proposal."

"What proposal?" Raph barked – patience had never been his strong point, and he wished she would get to the point.

"Very well, Raphael. I see you are impatient to hear what I have to say. I propose that I shall only take one of you, in exchange for the others safety."

"Wait a minute! Ya want me or one o' my bros to give ourselves to you, so that the other three will be safe from you?" Raph growled. Karai nodded, a wicked smile creeping across her face. Raph considered for a minute. "And ya swear that you will do nuthin to the others – eva?"

"On my honour, I swear it." Karai nodded.

"Well then, lady, I guess ya got yerself a deal." The two shook hands. "So, when ya gonna take me? Now?"

"No, not yet. I shall give you one more week with your family. Meet me back here in one week's time, at midnight."

"Why ya doin that? I mean, anyone else woulda just taken me now."

A pained expression crossed Karai's face, but she quickly hid it. "Because I know what it is like to one's family. But be warned, if you do not come, I shall destroy you and your family." She turned away, and before Raphael could open his mouth to say anything, she and her Foot ninja had disappeared.

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_My apologies that this is such a short chapter, but this was all I needed to say for this part of the story. I am almost finished with the next chapter, so it should be up in a couple of days. Please R&R - it really helps encourage me to write! :)_


	4. He's Gone!

_Yes, yes, I know I promised an update within a couple of days after the last one, and it has now been a week, but RL got crazy busy and I didn't have time to do either my final checks or upload the new chapter. Anyway, its here now, okay? _

_Oh, and my apologies if Raph seems a bit OOC from here onwards - its necessary for the plot. :) If you have any issues with my portrayal of other characters, please R&R, stating ideas for improvement. No flames please - they don't help at all._

_**DISCLAIMER:** I still don't own TMNT :'(_

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Over the next week, he was determined to make it count. He tried to make sure none of his bros suspected anything was up, but he wanted to spend as much time with his family as possible. He trained with Leo, played video games with Mikey, tried some meditating with Master Splinter, and tried to spend time with Donny in his lab. He went out with Casey each night, and visited April. If anyone suspected anything was up, they didn't show it. They all just seemed to assume that he'd got tired of being anti-social. However, all too soon, the week was up.

Raph glanced at his clock. It was 11pm. He had already decided that he wouldn't leave a note – they'd only try to come after him. However, he had decided to leave a few things for his family. For Mikey, he left a drawing of him and Mikey holding hands – Mikey had drawn it when they were six years old, and Raph had kept it ever since. For Donny, Raph left the remote-control car Donny had fixed up and given to him for Christmas when they were ten. For Leo, Raph left a couple of wooden swords – he remembered how the two of them had played with them when they were younger. For Casey, Raph left a note saying that he could have the Shell-Cycle - he knew Casey would take care of it, and he'd always admired Raph's bike. For April, he left an origami lotus flower, because he knew how much she loved them, and for Master Splinter, he left his first red bandana, the one his sensei had given him when he started his ninja training. He took one final glance around his room, his home, before walking out into the main room.

As he passed Mikey's room, he glanced at his youngest brother, still wearing his orange mask even though he was asleep. He then walked past Donny and Leo's rooms, thinking sadly how this was the last time he would see his brothers. Tears pricked his eyes, blurring his vision. He quickly walked on, knowing that if he lingered there, he would never bring himself to leave, and that would spell disaster for his family. He didn't look into Master Splinter's chamber – he was such a light sleeper, he would sense Raphael's presence, and wake up. Silently, Raphael left the lair for the last time.

As promised, Karai was waiting for him on the roof when he arrived. "Ah, I see you have honoured our agreement."

Raph nodded, "I said I'd come, didn' I?"

Karai seemed to consider, then said, "Are you sure that this is what you want? Are you sure you are willing to sacrifice your own life in return for the protection of your family?"

"Without question," Raph growled. Karai nodded, and made a signal to her ninja. Before Raph could react, he felt a sharp pain, and his world went black.

* * *

Mikey's whistling could be heard from the kitchen as he cooked breakfast. After a few minutes, he yelled, "Hey, dudes! Breakfast's ready!" Leo, Donny, and Master Splinter all came and sat down at the table, but Raph did not. Master Splinter frowned,

"Where is Raphael?" Everyone shrugged at their sensei. He signed, "Michelangelo, go wake your brother, please." Mikey ran off to wake his older brother. A minute later, they heard a sob from Raph's room. They all ran over, thinking Raph must have hit Mikey for waking him. However, they found Mikey sobbing on the floor, clutching a piece of paper to his plastron.

"Mikey? What's wrong?" Donny asked, kneeling beside his younger brother. With trembling hands, Mikey showed Donny the now tear-stained picture he was holding.

"He's gone." He sobbed.

"We don't know that Mikey – maybe he's gone for a walk or something?" Donny knew that sounded totally lame, but he so wanted to console his brother. He then glanced at the other items laid out of Raph's hammock. His eyes fell on the remote control car – Donny's eyes filled with tears as he picked it up. "I can't believe he kept this – for all these years."

Leo eyed the swords, remembering the fun times he and Raph had had when they were little. They had been best friends back then. "Why would he go? Where would he go?" he thought. Then aloud, he looked at his father, who was holding a scrap of red cloth. "What's that, sensei?"

"It is Raphael's first bandana – the one I gave him when he first began his ninjitsu training." Before their eyes, Master Splinter seemed to age several years. Somehow, he knew his second oldest son had left them, but he couldn't think why.

"I'm calling April and Casey – they need to know," Leo said, dialling their number. "Who knows, they might even know where he is." However, Casey and April did not know where Raph was. When they came over, Leo handed them the things Raph had left for them.

"There's no way I'm havin' his bike!" Casey growled. He was hurt that his best friend had left without telling him. April said nothing, as she fingered the petals of the paper flower. It was folded roughly, so she could tell Raph had made it himself, which only made it the more special.

"So, what's the plan, guys?" she asked, looking especially at Leo. Leo remained silent.

"Well, we…er…we don't know where he's gone," Donny replied instead.

"Well, then, we better start looking." April took charge. After deciding who was going to check where, they all went out into the night to look for the missing mutant. A few hours later, they all met up back in the lair.

They looked at each other expectantly, each hoping that someone else had found something out. Mikey finally voiced the question everyone was too reluctant to ask, "Has anyone found anything?" His blue eyes began to fill with tears as everyone shook their heads. Donny put his arm around his shoulders, but Mikey shoved him off. "I don't want you – I want Raphie back!" Mikey ran into his room, and could be heard sobbing into his pillow. After a while, it went quiet – Mikey had evidently fallen asleep. Leo sighed – Raph, despite being a tough hothead, had always been close to Mikey. They had relied on each other – now Raph was gone, Mikey must feel so lost. What must Raph be thinking? He shook his head, before going to bed - they would all need to rest, so they could search again tomorrow.


	5. An Explanation

_Okay, I felt a bit bad for breaking my promise, so thought I'd try to make it up to you by giving you another chapter. Do you forgive me now?_

_Oh yeah, and I still don't own them._

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It had now been a week since Raph's disappearance. They all went out every night to search for him, or any clue as to where he had gone. So far, they had found nothing. They had regrouped on a rooftop, each at first looking hopefully at each other and then their expressions changing to reflect the disappointment they all felt when they realised none of them had found anything. They were about to return to the lair when Leo paused.

"Someone's watching us." He whispered, unsheathing his katana. Mikey and Donny followed suit, grabbing their weapons and moving into a defensive position. "Show yourself!" Leo yelled. A black-clad ninja stepped out from the shadows, with more stepping out behind him. Their ranks parted, as another ninja walked between them. She was female and, like the other ninjas, wore the symbol of the Foot.

"Karai," Leo growled. Donny and Mikey gasped.

"Whoa – she's a babe." Mikey whispered. Donny was tempted to hit him over the head, but knew that was a privilege reserved for Raph, and Raph alone.

"Ah, turtles. I was hoping I would meet you here. I have already had the pleasure of meeting your brother, Raphael."

Leo tensed, gripping his katana tighter. "What did you do to him?"

Karai laughed. "Did he not inform you of our little agreement?"

"What agreement? What are you talking about, Karai?" Donny asked her.

"Greetings, Donatello. Surely you can guess – after all, my father said you were the intelligent one."

"What have you done with Raph?" Mikey yelled at her, spinning his chucks.

"So, he really did not tell you? I suspected as much, which is why I am here. Raphael and I made a deal – his life in exchange for his family's protection."

"What are you talking about?" Leo yelled at her.

"Raphael answered the message I left you, and he agreed to my proposal. I had mentioned in my letter that honour commands I slay my father's murderers in order to avenge his death. However, I told Raphael I was willing to waive this right for revenge if one of you agreed to sacrifice your own life. He agreed, giving me his life so that I would not harm you or the rat you call your father."

"Hang on," Donny had been thinking about what she said, "We got your note two weeks ago. If he gave you his life two weeks ago, why has he only been missing for one?"

"Because, Donatello, I gave him one last week with his family," she saw Leonardo's look of shock and added, "Yes, Leonardo. I gave him a last week with his family, even though you took my family from me. Your brother was as shocked as you are at my act of mercy."

"Why did Raph not talk to us about this?" Mikey asked Leo.

"I don't know, Mikey."

"Karai, give us our brother back! We don't care about being safe from you, we just…" Mikey screamed at her, before being silenced by the lump he felt in his throat. He would not cry in front of her, he wouldn't let her have the satisfaction.

"Michelangelo – ah yes, the youngest brother. I'm sorry, but the deal was struck and it cannot be undone now. Goodbye, turtles." In the blink of an eye, she and her Foot ninjas had disappeared.

Mikey now dropped to his knees and began to cry, sobbing so hard he could hardly breathe. Donny helped him up, before he and Leo took their orange-masked brother home. When they arrived, April and Casey were waiting in the lair with Master Splinter. While Donny helped his little brother to bed, Leo told the others about what they had found out.

"He sacrificed his own life for all of us?" April asked, holding her origami lotus flower in her hand. Casey put his arm around her, trying to comfort her despite the fact he too was struggling to comprehend what Raph had done.

"C'mon, babe. Let's go home. We'll see the guys again tomorrow." He led her out of the lair, still staring at the lotus flower.

By now, Donny had seen to Mikey. "He's asleep now. What are we going to do, Leo?"

"Sleep for now, Donny. Tomorrow, we'll work everything out."

"'Night then, Leo." Donny replied, obediently going to bed, although he knew his eldest brother wouldn't be. Instead, Leo sat down and began to meditate.

* * *

Raph groaned. The effects of the drugs they had given him were wearing off, and as he blinked to try to clear his blurry vision, memories off all that had happened came flooding back. He had made a deal with Karai – his life for his family's safety. He had hoped Karai would kill him straight away, but he had known when he accepted the deal that he would probably not get off so lightly. As his vision cleared, he looked around. He was chained to a wall in a small cell, but thankfully had enough chain so he could move around a little. It was cold and dark, with only a small, barred window in the door letting in a little bright white light from the corridor. He wondered how long he had been here – hours, days? His stomach growled – he obviously hadn't eaten in a while, and his mouth was drier than the Sahara. As if someone had read his thoughts, the door was opened and a Foot ninja walked in carrying a tray. On it was a jug of water, and a bowl of something that he guessed was meant to be food. The ninja eyed him warily, before setting the tray down if front of him. Raph glared at him, and just as he set down the tray and was beginning to back off out of the door again, he yelled "BOO!" scaring the ninja so much he screamed and tripped out of the door. Raph chuckled to himself; at least he could have some fun with these bozos. He grabbed the jug of water and, without even pouring it into the glass, gulped half of it down in one go.

"Ahhhh," he sighed, feeling the cool liquid slide down his parched throat. He then set upon the food, wolfing it down without even tasting it. He finished off the water, feeling at least a little satisfied, before yelling, "Yo, can I get some service? I'm done!" He didn't expect anyone to answer, much less come and take the tray away, especially after what he'd done to the ninja who'd brought it in. But, to his surprise, the door opened, and a ninja came in to take the tray away. "Hey, you! Where's Karai?" The ninja did not answer. "I'm talkin' to ya!" Raph grabbed him by the throat. The ninja's eyes went wide – they were the only part of his face that wasn't covered by his mask. "I asked ya, where's Karai?"

"My….my mistress….she has…gone…out …to…to see…the…others." The Foot ninja gasped.

"The others? You betta not mean my bros?" Raph squeezed a little tighter.

"Yes…yes…your….brothers." The ninja managed to choke out, on the verge of passing out. Raph let him go. The ninja ran out of the door, quickly bolting it shut behind him.

"When she gets back, tell Karai I wanna talk to her!" Raph yelled behind him, not sure whether he was heard or not. If she dared lay a finger on his bros, he would kill her. Why would she g out looking for them, she had sworn on her honour that she would leave them alone now that she had him. _You bonehead_, Raph reprimanded himself, _as if Shredder's daughter was gonna have any honour to swear on_. How could he have been so stupid – this really was a deal with the devil. _Oh shell_ - he was beginning to sound like Leo. Oh well, nothing to do now but wait. _But wait for what?_ He didn't know, but he knew he was waiting for something. After a while, he began to doze.

"_Raphael?" _

"Huh, what?"he woke up with a jolt. Had someone just called his name?

"_Raphael, are you there?" _

"Leo?" But Raph soon realised that the sound was not coming from anywhere inside or outside his cell. It was inside his head. Raph close his eyes, trying to concentrate enough to be able to reply. He'd never been good at meditating – he didn't have the patience to sit still for too long. But when he and his brothers found out they could communicate with each other in their heads, he thought that would be something worth learning.

"_Leo? Is that you, bro?"_

"_Raph? It's so good to hear your voice."_

"_Are you okay? What about Donny and Mikey, and everyone else?"_

"_We're all fine. What about you?"_

"_Never mind me. I heard that Karai's coming to find ya – she's…"_

"_It's alright, Raph. We've already seen her. We were out looking for you, and we ran into her."_

"_Did she hurt ya? If she did I swear I'm gonna kill her! We had a deal, she said…"_

"_We know, Raph. She told us all about the agreement. Why did you do it, Raph?"_

"_C'mon Leo. You of all people should know why I did it."_

"_You wanted to protect us, I know. But why didn't you talk to us first? Why…"_

"_Because I knew ya'd try to talk me out of it. Look, Leo, I know yer the leader and ev'rythin', but you can't be ev'rywhere. I knew if Karai wanted revenge on us for killin' her old man, she was gonna get it. I couldn' stand it if anythin' happened to any o' yer…so I accepted her offer. This way, I know you'll all be safe."_

"_How do you know that, Raph? How do you know she won't break your deal?"_

"_She won't, not while I'm still alive. She wouldn't dare."_

"_But, Raph, what if she…"_

"_What if she kills me? Leo, if she kills me, we just have to hope that dissectin' me will keep her busy, and she won't bother to come after ya all."_

"_Raph, you're not going to die. We're going to rescue you."_

"_No, Leo. Yer not. It's too dangerous – I did this so you wouldn't be in danger."_

"_Do you not want to come back?"_

"_Leo, ya know it's not about that. Why do ya think I was spending so much time with ya all, just before I left? Why do ya think I left all that stuff on the bed? I love ya, all of ya. It kills me to know I'll neva see you all again, but that's the price I was willing' to pay."_

"_You know Mikey's cried himself to sleep every night since you've been gone?"_

There was no answer. Leo thought he'd lost the connection.

"_Tell Mikey… tell 'im I'm sorry. Tell ev'ryone I'm sorry. Bye, bro."_

The connection was definitely lost now. Raph had closed his mind off now, and Leo couldn't reach him. "Nooooo!" he screamed, right there in the middle of the lair. "Raph! Don't do this to us!" He was screaming so loudly he woke everyone up. Master Splinter came running to Leo's side.

"You have contacted him?" he asked. Leo nodded, tears streaming down his face.

"Yes, sensei. But he's shut me off," Leo glanced at Mikey's pale, tear-stained face. "Mikey he told me to tell you that he's sorry." He saw tears begin to stream down his youngest brother's face, and then he glanced around at everyone. "He told me to tell everyone he's sorry. But he cut me off…I can't reach him." Leo sobbed harder – why had Raph done that?

"Do not worry, my son," his sensei soothed. "Try again tomorrow. It is important that you try to keep communicating with him – we must be kept informed of what is happening to him." He didn't say it, but everyone knew that he meant if Raph was dead or alive. "Now, my sons. Go back to bed. We cannot help Raphael unless we get some rest." The three turtles stumbled back to their own beds, where all three ended up crying themselves to sleep.

* * *

_Okay, so I hope I'm forgiven by now. I won't make any promises about when the next update is likely to be, but it'll probably be soon 'cos I have a whole week off college now, so I should have more time to work on the next few chapters._

_As always, please R&R. _

_:D_


	6. It Begins

_Okay, so here's the next chapter in the story. I'm going to apologise in advance because its relatively short, but its basically all I really needed to say for this part of the plot. _

_**DISCLIAMER:** Still don't own them - especially wish I owned Raph though. ;)_

* * *

"Ah, Raphael. How are you finding my hospitality?" Karai strode into his cell. Raph glanced up at her, his eyes narrowed.

"Well, it ain't exactly the fanciest joint in NYC, is it? This how ya treat all yer guests?"

"You forget, turtle, that you are my captive, not my guest," she flashed a wicked smile at him before she continued, "But you shall not be for much longer."

"What ya talking about, lady?" He knew that smile – he already knew what her response would be.

"Soon, you shall be subject to the whim of a very important man, one whom I am sure will find you very…useful."

"If ya mean that walking tin-can, Stockman, then I ain't afraid o' him."

"It is not Dr. Stockman – he disappointed my father far too often for me to ever trust him with something so…significant. I need someone I can really trust. He is coming to collect you later this afternoon." She turned to leave, but was stopped by a sudden yell from Raph.

"Hey, Karai! I ain't done with you yet!" Karai looked a little shocked at his disrespectful outburst, but allowed him to continue. "Why were ya out lookin' for my bros? Our deal was that ya never go near 'em again!"

"Do not concern yourself, Raphael. Your brothers are unharmed, and I shall stand by my agreement. As long as you co-operate with my wishes – do whatever my associate asks of you, and I shall stand by our agreement. I swore on my honour that I would stand by it, and I do not like to dishonour myself by going back on my word." She then left Raph alone in his cold, dark cell to contemplate on her words, and about what this man would want him to do. A man came in about half an hour later to give him his daily rations. Raph ate quickly just as he always did, and waited for the man to return to take the tray away. However, after just a couple of minutes, his vision began to blur, and he felt his body slump on the floor. _Drugged_, he muttered to himself, before he passed out.

* * *

"My, my – you are indeed a fine specimen." The man in the white lab coat mused, inspecting Raph. "Mistress Karai said you would be…_interesting_ to examine, but I could never have imagined this!" He rubbed his hands together with glee.

"Examine? If you so much as touch me I'll break yer arm!" Raph snarled at him. Dr. Winthrop jumped backwards several feet.

"You….you talk?" he stared, wide-eyed with disbelief, "and you speak English?"

" 'Course I talk – I ain't just a giant turtle, ya know!"

"Fascinating. And is that a Brooklyn accent I detect? So it's true – you are from New York. And by the sound of it, you have lived here from a very young age." The scientist rubbed his hands as he considered this new knowledge.

"Look, pal, if yer gonna dissect me, would ya mind getting on with it?" Raph growled. "I got another dissection with Agent Bishop at 4," he added sarcastically.

Dr Winthrop smiled at him, but it was a smile almost identical to Karai's. "Oh no, my reptilian friend, I am not going to kill you – at least, not yet. I think I will be able to get a lot more information from you if I keep you alive for the time being."

"Hey, first off, I ain't yer friend, and second of all, I ain't telling ya nuthin!"

The scientist laughed wickedly, "Oh, but you will. You will tell me all I want o know and more." He checked the straps that bound Raph to the lab table were secure. Satisfied, he went over to the counter on which an array of instruments that resembled drill-bits were arranged. After much deliberation, Dr Winthrop selected one before returning to the table. As Raph watched him trough narrowed eyes, he pulled down a machine that was hanging above the table. It looked like some kind of surgical drill and, sure enough, he fixed the drill-bit into the end of it. He adjusted the drill until it hung over Raph, pointing roughly to where the middle of his belt would have been if he had been wearing it. Dr Winthrop pulled his goggles down over his eyes and flicked a switch on the side of the machine. The drill-bit began to spin, and he gradually pulled it down, getting closer and closer to Raph.

Raph knew what was coming and attempted to steel himself for it. However, no amount of preparation could have helped. He felt the drill-bit touch his plastron, heard the sickening grinding sound it made as it drilled through, setting his teeth on edge. In a second, it was through the underside of his shell and was biting into the flesh beneath. He tried not to cry out with the pain, he didn't want to give the man the satisfaction. The drill-bit dug deeper until finally the pain was too much to bear. He screamed in agony before falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

_Okay, so I hope you liked that, and that you are still interested. I would appreciate it if you could leave a review - no matter how big or small, even if its just to say whether or not you like the story/chapter - and I will try to reply to every single reviewer. :)_


	7. A New Friend and A New Foe

**Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! It really means a lot to know that you are all enjoying the story so far, and I hope this next chapter does not disappoint!**

**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them - _but if I could find a Genie in a lamp...._**

* * *

When Raph awoke, he was surprised to find himself in a warm, comfortable bed. An IV was in his arm, supplying him with fluids. He almost expected to find himself back at home, and that Donnie would walk in any minute to check on him. He felt a pain in his lower plastron and, running his hand over it, he felt bandages and beneath them he could feel a small hole. The memories came flooding back – he remembered where he was and what had happened to him. He felt a sting in his upper arm – he turned to see a different man injecting something into him.

"Ya druggin' me?" Raph asked, as the young man turned away. Surprised, the young doctor turned to face him.

"Ah, you're awake. Yes, I'm giving you drugs…"

"Typical," Raph growled, rolling his eyes.

"…its morphine, to help with the pain."

"Oh – I…er…thanks, I guess," he replied gruffly, still suspicious. _Why's this guy being so nice to me?_

"It's alright. Dr Winthrop has ordered me to take good care of you – he wants you to remain healthy until he's learnt all he can."

"So, what happened? Last thing I remember is bein' on that table, feelin' the drill, an' then…nuthin''."

"It was a kind of endurance test. He wanted to see how much you could take without either passing out, or dying. He was impressed with your results - you lasted longer than he ever thought you would."

"Oh great. Another excuse for him to cut me up. So, anyways, who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Carr – I work with Dr. Winthrop, although to be honest I don't agree with some of his methods. Still, there aren't many people who get the chance to work with such a prestigious scientist, especially when they've only just graduated from university. "

"Look, kid, can ya at least give me a heads up on what to expect?"

"Firstly, please don't call me 'kid'. If you want to, you can call me Rob. Secondly, I really don't have much of an answer to that question. I know he's going to run a couple of physical exams on you, and that you'll be under the knife quite a lot. But, now he knows you're sentient, he'll probably be doing some intelligence tests on you. You know, you're quite amazing – previously only humans and cetaceans, such as whales and dolphins, have been found to be sentient – Dr Winthrop is going to want to examine you very thoroughly."

"Well, that sounds just peachy," Raph responded sarcastically. "I'll have to clear my schedule."

Dr Winthrop walked into the room. "Good, you are awake. You'll be having your first physical exam tomorrow, but right now I think we will give you a mental examination." He gave Raphael a pen and some sort of exam paper. "You have one hour to complete the test." Raph rolled his eyes – _this was just great_.

Later that night, when Raph was finally left alone, he allowed his mind to wander to thoughts of his brothers. He wondered what they were doing right now – Mikey was probably playing video games, Donnie was most likely fiddling with something in his lab, and Leo was probably training. Casey was probably out smashing up some Purple Dragons, April was likely at home worrying about him, and Master Splinter was probably doing whatever it was he did when he was alone in his chamber – probably meditating or drinking tea.

"_Raph?"_

"Huh, what?"He looked around the room, before realising that, once again, the voice was inside his head. _"Leo – is that you?"_

"_Oh Raph, thank goodness. I haven't been able to get through to you for a few days now – I thought…"_

"_Whaddya mean, a few days? We only talked yesterday."_

"_No, Raph. It was three days ago now. What's been happening?"_

"_Nuthin', Leo. I'm fine."_

"_Come on, Raph. I know you well enough by now to know when you're lying. Why don't you want to talk to me?"_

"_Leo, I ain't lyin' to ya. I'm alright. An' its not that I don't wanna talk, it's just that it's…it's better this way." _

"_For who?! Raph, we're all worried about you – please don't shut me off again."_

"_There's nuthin' to worry about. I can take whateva they throw at me. Look, you guys should forget me – I'm not comin' back, so there's no point thinkin' about it."_

"_Raph! You're our brother – we'll never give up on you, or forget you! Why are you saying all this?"_

"_I made a deal with Karai. I did it for you guys."_

"_But we never asked you to! If you'd told us, we'd never have let you go through with it."_

"_You'll thank me for it eventually."_

"_Never! How could you think that we'd rather be safe from Karai's wrath, than have you still with us?!"_

"_Look, bro, I made this decision. I'm gonna go through with it – no matter what the cost."_

"_Raph, please don't shut me out again. Okay, if you really don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but at least let me get through each night so I know you're okay."_

"_Yeah, sure, whateva. But I'd rather you guys just forgot me and moved on."_

Leo was about to reply, but Raph quickly blocked him off. _Its better this way, bro,_ he thought to himself.

Over the next few days, Raph endured more mental tests, as well as some physical ones. One physical exam, involved him running on a treadmill for half an hour, with a load of wires coming off him to record his pulse, breathing, oxygen levels, etc., while another was weight-lifting exercise to see how strong he was. Dr Winthrop seemed to become more and more excited by the results he saw, realising how strong and athletic his subject was, and he was quite intelligent, at least for a mutated turtle, and it seemed he couldn't wait to dissect him and find out the secrets held within this creature's anatomy. And every night, Leo checked in with Raph, just to make sure he was okay.

"Well, turtle. You have given me much to think about over these past couple of days. And hopefully, I shall begin to learn more about you tomorrow, when we start the surgical examinations."

"Oh great. D-day tomorrow – then my troubles will be over."

"Oh no, Raphael. You will not die just yet. I can carry out my procedures while keeping you live," he smirked, "And Mistress Karai has ordered me to make you suffer as well."

"Great, are ya gonna tape it for her so she can watch it later with a bucket of popcorn?"

"Oh no – she says she will be here personally. It seems she really has it in for you."

"Yeah, well, we did kill her old man, so I can't really say I blame her."

"You should sleep now – you will need your strength for tomorrow."

Raph grunted as he watched the scientist and his assistant leave the room. He was determined not to speak to Leo tonight, least of all tell him what was going to happen tomorrow. He slid down in the bed, and eventually fell into a restless sleep.

Meanwhile In the Lair….

Leo was worried – why was Raphael blocking him tonight? When they had last spoken, Raph had agreed that Leo could contact him, just to make sure he was okay. Was something wrong with him? Had they done something to him? Was he even alive? He then quickly pushed this last thought aside – of course he was alright. He's probably just asleep, he quickly told himself. He opened his eyes, only to be immediately greeted with the worried faces of the rest of his family.

"Well, Leo? What did he say?" Donny asked.

"Nothing. I couldn't get through."

"What does that mean? He said he wouldn't block you anymore – you don't think he's…" Michelangelo couldn't bring himself to say it.

"No, Mikey. Of course he's not. Don't worry, Leo will get through tomorrow." Donny put his arm around his little brother.

"Why did he do it, Donny? Why didn't he ask us first – we'd never have let him do it."

"I don't know, Mikey," this came from Leo, "But we sure as shell are going to get him back."

* * *

_Okay, so there you have it - chapter 7. _

_I hope it lived up to your high expectations, and that it was worth the wait! As always, please Read & Review to let me know what you think. :D_


	8. Under the Knife

**_Hey guys and gals, thanks for the reviews - I'm glad to here that you like the story so far, and you are being patient enough to stick with me. :D_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own TMNT (**once again checks sky for a shooting star**), but Dr Winthrop and Dr Carr are mine._**

**_And, without further ado, the next installment of the story...._**

* * *

"Good morning, Raphael. Are you ready?" Dr Winthrop asked, looking at the scowling turtle.

"Oh yeah, I'm really lookin' forward to getting' cut up," Raph snarled.

"My, my, aren't we feeling feisty this morning? That will certainly help the procedure run more smoothly. Dr. Carr, prepare the specimen for analysis, while I get Mistress Karai seated in the observation room." He then strode out, leaving Rob and Raph alone in the room.

"I'm sorry, Raph," Rob whispered, "I wish I could stop this."

"Hey, don' worry 'bout it – I can handle it," Raph said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"But you don't now what he's capable of – he'll put you through torture like you've never imagined."

"Rob, yer've been a pal. But I learned a long time ago that even yer friends can't always help ya; sometimes, all ya got is yerself. Now, c'mon, ya betta do what he says unless ya wanna lose yer job."

Ten minutes later, Raph was once again securely strapped to the lab table. Dr Carr was to assist during the procedure, but Dr Winthrop wanted to do most of it himself. Raph glanced over towards the window into the observation room – he saw Karai sitting there, staring at him, her eyes filled with a lust for vengeance and blood. He nodded at her and smirked – _that'll really tick her off_, he thought to himself. Sure enough, he saw her eyes narrow, and she scowled at him. _Heh heh, if I die now at least I'll die happy_.

"Dr Carr, the no. 5, if you please." Dr Winthrop was holding some sort of handle, which he fitted the blade into. He pressed a button, and the blade began to make a sawing motion. He pressed it again, and the blade stopped. "Thank you, Dr., this will do nicely. Are we ready?"

Dr. Carr hesitated for a moment, glancing at Raph. Raph returned the glance and gave a slight nod. "Yes, sir. We are ready to begin. Would you like me to be keeping notes, or will you need help with the surgical procedure?"

"I should be fine with the surgery, thank you. This will not be the first live specimen I have used. Please be sure to take detailed notes, and make them into a report later."

"Yes sir, Dr Winthrop." Dr Carr went over to the desk and opened a notebook. He wished he could do more for Raph, maybe slip him some anaesthetic, but he knew it was not possible. He would have to watch, and wait until after the procedure to help Raphael. He winced slightly as he heard the electric knife start up, and heard Raph's groan as it cut into him, before he quickly buried himself in his note-taking.

Raph closed his eyes as the knife cut across his plastron and into his skin. He was being cut in two, and without anything to numb the pain. He was determined not to pass out this time, but was even more determined not to let either Karai or Dr Winthrop see him cry. He felt like screaming at the top of his lungs, but his pride warned him that to do so would be to admit his defeat.

Instead, he tried to focus inwards – trying to reach a place somewhere in his mind where he could escape the pain. He thought of his brothers, and a warm feeling seemed to flood his body. Then, he thought of their battle with the Shredder, and how he had thought he would lose them all, and the pain came back. _Don't give in, don't let him know. It'll be over soon – it will. Just focus. Focus and it goes away._ But however hard he tried, no where seemed deep enough to escape.

He felt the sides of the wound being pulled apart slightly, and something cold being pushed in. It felt like a hose, but with something round on the end - a camera? It was moved around a bit inside, and then pulled out sharply. Raph hissed as it scraped along his insides. He didn't see the wicked grins on the faces of either Karai or the scientist because his eyes were still firmly squeezed shut – they were enjoying this. However, Dr Winthrop was still not completely satisfied that Raph was in enough pain. Going over to a drawer in his desk, he pulled out a syringe and a bottle of fluorescent yellow liquid. He filled up the syringe with it, and then injected it straight into Raph's bloodstream. _Now you'll know what pain is_, he thought to himself, smirking.

Raph felt the sting in his arm and the burning sensation as some kind of drug was injected into him. He somehow knew it was not going to make him feel better, but he could not have been prepared for what it actually did to him. Soon, it felt like he was on fire – his skin was burning hot, and the wound in his stomach was so agonisingly painful he would have ripped at it if his hands had been free. Yet still he did not cry out. He heard the drill start up, but wasn't prepared for the excruciating pain he now felt in his left shoulder as the drill dug deep into the muscle and the drug intensified the pain signals the nerves sent to his brain. He bit the side of his mouth to try to stop himself from yelling out, but tasted the metallic taste of blood in his mouth as he bit too hard. He could take it no more – he screamed. He screamed and screamed until he had no more energy left. Drained of strength and from the large amount of blood he had lost, he felt himself go lightheaded, and passed out.

He awoke several hours later to find himself back in the comfortable bed, with a drip in his arm. He attempted to move so he could look around the room, but pain prevented him from moving. He felt the slit in his plastron – Dr Winthrop had stitched up the wound in his flesh, and used some sort of glue to hold his plastron together while it healed. His shoulder had been bandaged, but he couldn't move his left arm – it seemed the drill had damaged the muscle quite badly, and he would only regain the use of his arm if it healed properly. His head throbbed – probably from the after-effects of the pain-intensifying drug he had been given. He managed to turn his head just enough to see the clock on the wall. 10pm. He didn't know how long he had been out, and he didn't really care – he just wished it would all end. He wished he could call out to someone, but knew the only ones he wanted to call to could not hear him, and he didn't really want them to hear him.

"_I'm glad it's me and not them."_

"_Raph? Are you okay?"_

"_Leo? What are you doing here, ya know what they'll do if they catch ya? Ya gotta – ya gotta get out. Run, now! Go! Leo…"_

"_Easy, Raph. Don't worry, I'm in no danger. I'm safely at home in the Lair, with Donny, Mikey, and Master Splinter."_

"_Leo – don't come… look for me…okay?"_

"_Raph- you don't sound too good. What's happened?"_

"_They cut me up, bro. They…They put me on the table…I couldn't stop myself from screamin'. I…I couldn't. It hurt, shell it hurt…"_

"_Whoa, slow down Raph! What do you mean, 'they cut you up'? Who did?"_

"_Winthrop… And Karai… Oh man, Leo... Please- promise me somethin'?"_

"_Raph, where are you? We'll come and get you out of there. We'll come and…"_

"_No, bro. Promise you won't…come look for me. I can handle this – I couldn't handle it if… if they got one of you guys. Please, Leo… ya gotta…promise me."_

"_No. I can't promise that. You know I can't."_

"_Leo, if I die…promise me ya won't go after her. Please."_

"_You're not going to die! I won't let you!"_

"_Leo, would you do somethin' for me?"_

"_Anything. Just name it."_

"_Stay with me.. Don't leave me tonight… I won't shut ya off – I wouldn' have the energy to anyway. Please. I don' wanna be alone right now."_

"_You'll never be alone, Raph. Not as long as I'm around."_

"_Thanks, bro...And don't tell Donny or Mikey 'bout this – I don't want 'em to know."_

"_But Raph…"_

"_No! Just tell 'em…tell 'em not to worry 'bout me anymore."_

"_Okay, but you rest now. Don't worry, I'll stay up with you, I'll be here. Sleep now."_

Leo knew Raph had gone to sleep after a while, because the connection felt so quiet. But it was still warm, so he knew Raph was still there. They were going to rescue Raph, whether he liked it or not – no way were they going to let him suffer like this at the hands of Karai!

* * *

"I spoke to Raph last night," Leo informed everyone the next morning.

"How was he? Is he okay?" Mikey asked, looking worriedly at Leo's unusually pale face.

"He told me not to tell you," Leo looked awkwardly at his feet.

"Leo, we're his brothers, his family. If something's going on, we should know about it," Donny responded, desperate to know how his older brother was.

"It's not good. When I contacted him last night, he was saying, or rather thinking, something like 'I'm glad it's me and not them'. I spoke to him, and he told me they cut him up. He sounded like he was in a bad way. It didn't sound like Raph at all – he even asked me to stay with him all night, because he didn't want to be alone. Then he tried to make me promise we wouldn't go looking for him, and that if he died we wouldn't go after Karai."

"But…but he's not going to die….is he?" Mikey began to cry, his big blue eyes begging his oldest brother to reassure him that Raph was going to be alright.

"Mikey…don't cry. He'll be fine if we can get to him in time."

"But we don't even know where he is, Leo." Donny said quietly.

"We have one clue – Karai." Leo replied, his voice hard as steel as he said her name.

"Leo, if we don't find Raph in time, will he…" Mikey sobbed.

"Yes, Mikey." Leo looked at his little brothers and their tears had been replaced with a look of pure determination. They were going to get to their brother, before it was too late.

* * *

**_So, not too bad, I hope? _**

**_You know the drill - read & review, even if its just a quick word to let me know what you thought. I personally reply to each of my reviewers (Samantha, I'll say thanks here, because I can't reply to yours for some reason). :)_**


	9. A Friend In Need

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own TMNT (God, why do I keep torturing myself by saying that?), but I do own the OCs (but I'd swap them any day for ownership of the guys!)_**

**_Without further ado, here's the next chapter..._**

* * *

Raph winced as he woke up once again in the comfortable bed. _Not dead yet_, he thought to himself, _which means another day of torture tomorrow. _It had now been several days since that first surgical examination had taken place, and everyday since then he had undergone another one. He didn't think there was anymore of him left for Dr Winthrop to exam, but then again, that wasn't the aim of the whole thing. Now, the goal was to kill him, slowly and painfully.

"Hey Raph, how are you doing?"

"M' fine," Raph managed to croak in response to Rob's question. He knew Rob had been trying to help him, trying to slip him pain killers and anaesthetic, and it was Rob who made sure all his wounds were tended to.

"No, Raph. You're not all right," the young doctor eyed Raph's bandaged and scarred body. The turtle was also starting to run a fever, very likely from an infected wound. He knew Raph was strong, but he honestly didn't know how much more of this his body, or his mind, could take.

"S'ok," he managed to open his eyes a little to look at his friend's concerned face, "I…I can…take it."

"Why won't you tell me how to contact your brothers? They'll get you out of here."

"N'…deal." Raph shut his eyes and turned away, his body now starting to shiver. Rob quickly put another blanket on him. Just then, Dr Winthrop swaggered into the room.

"How is the specimen, Dr Carr?"

"Not good, Dr Winthrop. He's running a fever; I think one of his wounds has become infected. Perhaps we could skip the surgical examination for today?"

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Dr Carr. Mistress Karai has ordered that he be surgically examined everyday. And we are both aware of what could happen to us if we defy her wishes." The young doctor nodded his agreement, wishing that there was something he could do to help Raphael. "Prepare the specimen for surgery, Dr Carr." He then turned on his heel to go prepare the operating theatre.

"I'm sorry about this, Raph," Rob said as he got him ready for surgery.

"Don't…don't worry. I'm…I'm the…tough one…'member?"

As Raph was strapped to the lab table, he was once again gripped with the overwhelming urge to smash things up, to hit Dr Winthrop – anything to vent his anger and frustration. That was who he was – he was the hothead who lashed out when riled. But now, like always, he was strapped down, his wrists and ankles bound to the table with thick leather straps, leaving him unable to move, unable to hit out or defend himself. Without this, he was forced to keep his emotions inside, and he was now beginning to feel that he would burst if he did not get to release all these pent-up feelings. The only way of escape was to hide within himself, but that was not in Raph's nature. He didn't want to do it, even tried to will his mind to stay in the moment, to endure every torture that Dr Winthrop could put him through, but his mind seemed to do it anyway. Every time he went under the knife, just as the pain began to become too much for even Raph to handle, he felt himself delving deeper into himself, escaping the pain, and each time it happened, he seemed to get a little bit deeper, be able to escape for a little bit longer. This day was no different – just as Raph's body began to go into pain-overload, he felt the pain lessening, and felt his mind slipping into itself, showing him memories that he thought he had forgotten, good memories of him and his family. _One day_, he thought, _I'm gonna go so far in that they'll be the last thing I see_, and that thought comforted him.

........................................

When he resurfaced from his memories, Raph was surprised to find that he was not in the comfortable bed like he usually was. He was also very cold, and the surface he was lying on felt like concrete. He felt like his body had smashed onto the pavement from a great height, calling to mind memories of that nightmare he had had so long ago. But he had not heard anyone crying out for help, and had not been running to rescue them, so it didn't all make sense yet. _If Master Splinter were here, he could explain it_, Raph thought, suddenly realising how much he missed his sensei.

He tried to sit up, but found himself unable to do so. He was not chained in any way, he just did not have the energy to move. His body was drenched in sweat, and he was still in the grip of a fever. He felt the numerous wounds that covered his body, from his red-raw wrists and ankles where the leather straps had rubbed away the skin as he struggled to free himself, to the many cuts and gashes from Dr Winthrop's scalpel. Raph shivered, and thought how odd it seemed to be alone. He realised that it was the first time in his life that he had ever been truly alone – before he had always had either his bros or Casey, and even at the times he went off by himself he still knew they were there for him. And until now, Rob had been there. But now there was no one. Now there was nothing to live for.

He felt himself slipping into himself, deeper this time than he had ever gone before. It felt like he was digging a tunnel to a place where there was no more pain, a place where he couldn't feel anything…except this was no physical place – it was a place deep inside himself.

* * *

"Dr Winthrop, please let me attend to him! If he does not get urgent treatment, he's going to die!"

"And that, my dear Dr Carr, is entirely the point. Mistress Karai wanted him to die a slow and painful death, and now he shall. I forbid you from any interaction with the specimen, Dr Carr – I do not wish to lose my own head to pay for your sentimental actions!"

"But sir…"

"Dr Carr, I have forbidden you to help our reptilian prisoner in any way. Do not question my authority again! The turtle shall undergo surgical examinations everyday until he dies!"

"Yes, of course, Dr Winthrop. I apologise for questioning you."

"Apology accepted. Now, let us not speak of this again. I must meet with Mistress Karai to give her a progress report, and after that I shall be heading home. If you would just tidy up around here, and lock up." He tossed the keys to the young doctor. "I shall see you in the morning. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sir." Dr Carr watched as his senior left, before setting about tidying the lab. He glanced at the clock – 5:45pm. He knew the building would be empty, save for the one night security guard, by 7pm. That would be his chance to go see Raph.

....................................

By the time he finished tidying and cleaning the lab, it was 6:45pm. He knew by now that Dr Winthrop and Karai would have left the building, and the security guard would be patrolling the upper floors, so he could easily slip down to sub-ground level and find Raph. He packed a few medical supplies into his pockets – he would stop off for some food and water in the staff canteen along the way. He was tempted to take a blanket – it was freezing down there – but knew that it would give him away when it was discovered the next morning.

Locking the door of the lab behind him, he quietly power-walked down the corridor, to take the lift down to the lower levels. Within five minutes, he was standing outside the door of Raph's cell. His breath was coming out in little white wisps before him – _man, it really is freezing down here_, he thought. Riffling through the bunch of keys he held, he found the correct key and unlocked the door. The cell was very dark, with only a little light filtering in from the dimly lit corridor. He walked further into the cell, and almost tripped over the motionless body of the mutant turtle.

"Raph! Raph, talk to me!" the young doctor bent down beside his friend, grabbing his shoulders and gently shaking him. No response. He took a small torch from his pocket, opened one of Raph's eyelids and shone the light in – the pupils dilated in response, but other than that there were no signs of life. He noted the shine on Raph's skin – his body was still sweating in response to the fever. _He's alive, but…it seems like his mind has just shut down. _Sighing and frowning with concern, he dabbed antiseptic lotion onto some of Raph's wounds, both to try to clear up the infection that was causing the turtle's fever and to see if the stinging sensation would prompt any response. Nothing. With another sign, Dr Carr stood up – there was nothing more he could do for his friend. He would talk to Dr Winthrop in the morning, but from what had been said earlier, this turn of events would only make him even happier. _If only I could contact Raphael's brothers_. Unless…he suddenly remembered that when the turtle had arrived, he had been stripped of all his possessions – his kneepads, his weapons, his mask…and a device that looked like a phone. That was it! But where had they been put? He had a strange feeling that he had seen them somewhere in the lab. Locking Raph's cell back up, the young man sprinted to the elevator to return to the lab – he was going to turn it upside down looking for that phone!

* * *

"So, where should we check first? I think Foot HQ is our best bet. What about you, Leo?"

"Yeah, Donny, I think that should be our first port of call. It's just gone 7pm, so it'll be dark enough for us to leave in about half an hour. We'd better get ready."

"I am ready, dude!" Mikey proclaimed, spinning his nunchucks, "I got my chucks, what else do I need?"

"Have you got your shell-cell on you, just in case we split up?"

"Of course, bro. I always do."

"Good. We'd better have a bit to eat before we go, though. We don't know how late it'll be by the time we get back."

"Way ahead of you, dude. I got pizza in the microwave; it'll be ready in 30 seconds!"

"Good. Come on, Don, come eat something."

"I'm just coming, Leo. Just got to get a few things together."

Leo shook his head as he watched his purple-masked sibling stuffing things into his old brown duffel bag. He always backed so much I there, he was sure the handle would snap one of these days. But it was good that Donny always came prepared – his always being over-prepared had saved them countless times in the past. He was about to walk into the kitchen when he felt a vibrating coming from his belt, and the ringtone of his shell-cell. He answered it, expecting it to be April or Casey as they were the only other people with the number, but was surprised to hear an unfamiliar male voice on the other end of the line. And he was saying something about _Raph_.

* * *

**_Okay everyone, so that was chapter 9. Please review, I really appreciate it, and if you sign in I can reply. :)_**

**_Also, I haven't got the next chapter finsihed yet, so it might take while.... don't panic, I will do my very best to get it ready for next week's update, but I just wanted to warn you now that it might be a little late! Thanks for your patience (I know how tough it is to play the 'waiting game'!) :D_**


	10. A Brother Lost?

**_Hey guys, _**

**_I worked really hard to get this done for you - and its not late! :D_**

**_Its also a bit longer than usual - I got carried away with writing, and couldn't find anywhere to split it up into two chapters, so I guess its your lucky day, huh?_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own TMNT :'( but I do own the OCs (i.e. Dr Carr)._**

* * *

"Who is this? How did you get this number?"

"I'm Dr Carr – I'm at the place where Raphael is being held. You are one of his brothers, right?"

"How did you get this number?!" Leo tried to speak calmly, but obvious anger laced his voice.

"I'm using Raph's phone – check caller ID if you don't believe me." Leo took his shell-cell away from his ear, and found that the caller was telling the truth.

"How did you get Raph's phone?"

"I already told you, I'm in the place he's being held. You are one of his brothers, right?"

"Yes, my name is Leonardo. Please, just tell me if Raph's alright."

"No, he's not. He told me not to call you – he said he would rather die than let you come here, but…I'm really worried about him. If Dr Winthrop gets his hands on him…look, can you just come and get him?"

"Of course! Where are you?" Leo hastily scribbled the address on the back of an envelope he found lying on the table. "And there's only one security guard, right? No-one else? Okay good. We'll be there in 10 minutes." Leo disconnected the call and rushed into the kitchen, where he found Mikey with his mouth open, just about to take a bite of pizza.

"No time for that, Mikey! I know where Raph is, and we have to go get him now!"

Mikey rushed past him in blur of orange and green, quickly followed by Donny. Leo blinked a couple of times – he'd never seen either of them move so fast – before quickly following them. Jumping into the Battle-Shell, Leo climbed into the driver's seat, while Mikey sat in the passenger seat to help out with directions. Donny was in the back, setting it up so he could deal with whatever treatment Raph might need.

* * *

Dr Carr was pacing near the back door. He hoped he'd timed this right – it was usually around this time that the guard took his 'doughnut and coffee' break, so hopefully they'd have fifteen minutes to get Raph out of here. He wondered what would happen to him in the morning, when Dr Winthrop and Karai found out what he'd done. If she was anything like her father, she would kill him. Yet, somehow he didn't mind – he was doing this for a friend, he was doing something that was right, for once. He heard the soft growling of an engine pull up in the back alley, and opened up the door just a fraction. It was some sort of armoured vehicle, but he couldn't be sure if it was Raph's brothers or not. But he was soon to find out, when three stealthy figures, each with what appeared to be a large shell on their back, exited the vehicle. One, wearing a blue mask, glanced quickly around before making his way to the door. Dr Carr opened it wider now,

"Leonardo?"

"Yes. You must be Rob Carr."

Dr Carr nodded affirmative. "Follow me; I'll take you to his cell."

"Excuse me, how do we know you aren't leading us to a trap?" This came from Donny.

"Look, … er, I'm sorry, I don't know your name?"

"Donatello. And this is our brother Michelangelo." Donny motioned towards Mikey.

"Okay, Donatello, I know this must be hard to believe, but I am honestly trying to help your brother. You have to believe me." Something in the human's voice made Donny believe he was telling the truth, so he simply said,

"Well, then. Take us to our brother, please."

Rob beckoned for them to follow him, and he led them silently down the hallway and into the elevator. They went down a few floors, before they exited the lift, and were taken down a long, dimly lit corridor that looked just like the one from upstairs.

They were about halfway down when Dr Carr stopped in front of a door. "This is it," he whispered, as he unlocked it. Opening the door, he stepped in first, so the brothers knew there was no trap.

When he saw his older brother's inert body lying on the floor, the orange-masked turtle gasped. "Oh no, are we too late?"

Donny bent down, putting a finger to Raphael's neck to check for a pulse. He was relived to feel the pulsating sensation, "No Mikey, he's alive. Raph? Raph, its Donny. Wake up, bro."

"That's the problem," Rob spoke up. "He won't wake up. I don't know what's wrong."

Donny was about to make a scathing remark about the fact that they had been torturing his brother, and that was what's wrong, but bit back the comment and simply said, "We'd better get him back to the Lair." Leo lifted his brother and was horrified at how light he felt. He was also a lot less bulky as he had lost a lot of muscle mass. Usually it would have taken two of them to move Raph, but now he could easily manage him by himself. Carefully stepping out into the corridor, he began to walk towards the elevator, with Donny, Mikey, and Rob closely following behind him. Rob prayed that the guard hadn't run out of doughnuts yet – if they were caught, it would be disastrous. Luckily, when they reached their floor, there was no sign of anyone around.

Leo hurried out of the door to put Raph in the back of the Battle Shell, before quickly coming back to thank Rob and say goodbye. Dr Carr quickly shut the door, and the turtles sped back off towards the Lair.

In the relatively bright light inside the Battle Shell, Raph's injuries became much more prominent. Not only had he lost a lot of weight and muscle mass, his body was covered in scars as well as fresh wounds, his wrist and ankles were rubbed raw from being restrained, and he had a high fever. But the most concerning thing was how unresponsive he was.

"What's wrong with him, Donny?"

"To be honest, Leo, I have no idea. Well, aside from all the physical injuries, I mean."

"When do you think he'll wake up?"

"Leo, I…" Donny swallowed thickly. He didn't want to voice his thoughts to his older brother, afraid that admitting the possibility could turn it into reality.

"No way, Don! Don't even think about that!" Leo reprimanded his purple-masked brother – he knew what Donny was thinking, because he himself was thinking it. He shook his head – his brothers needed his support and reassurance. "C'mon, guys, this is Raph we're talking about. He's the toughest of us all, right? He wouldn't let something like this beat him." Leo fell silent, watching as Donny set about looking after their red-masked bother. He knew they were all thinking the same thing – _this is Raph. Raph can't die because…well, because he's __Raph__. _Somehow, Raph had always seemed invincible to all of them, kind of like Mikey's superheroes, but now they were facing the realisation that Raph was only flesh and blood, just like them, and now there was the all-too-real possibility that they could lose him forever. Leo was awoken from his reverie by the sudden halt of the vehicle, which signified that they had arrived. Wishing he had thought to call April and Casey over, or at least called Master Splinter to warn him, Leo pushed open the back doors and slid back the nearest manhole cover. The sooner they got Raph home the better….or so he hoped.

* * *

When they stepped into the Lair, Leo carrying Raph, they were surprised to see April, Casey and Master Splinter waiting there for them.

"Huh? April, Casey – why are you two here? We didn't call you?"

"My sons, it was I who telephoned Miss O'Neil and Mr Jones. I sensed their presence would be required upon your return."

"But Sensei, how did you…"

"Leonardo, I may be old, but I am not a fool. I knew you were going to fetch your brother, and I suspected he would need urgent medical attention. Now, my son, go put Raphael in the infirmary, so that Donatello and Miss O'Neil may treat him." Leo gulped – Master Splinter didn't seem to understand that Raph had more serious problems than cuts and bruises, but he quickly obeyed his sensei. Donny and April quickly followed him in, shutting the door after Leo left so they could work in private.

"Leo, d'you think…d'you think Raph'll be okay?" Mikey sniffled. He'd caught a glimpse of Raph in the Battle-Shell, and it didn't look good.

" 'Course he will, Mikey. This is Raph we're talkin' 'bout." Casey said loudly from his seat on the sofa. Master Splinter was sat in the armchair next to him, and Leo and Mikey settled themselves on the floor.

"But he won't wake up!" Mikey wailed, his mask turning a darker shade of orange as it became wet with tears.

"What do you mean, my son?" Master Splinter's ears had now pricked up – he had not been aware of the full extent of his son's injuries. Leo sighed, and began to explain all that they knew. As he went on, the old rat seemed to age several years in just a few minutes – how could anyone have hurt his red-masked son in such a way?

"…and he still hasn't woken up." Leo finished, feeling his own mask grow wet.

"Whaddya mean 'hasn't woken up'?" Casey was confused – his best buddy has just got a bit roughed up by some scientists, hadn't he? So why wouldn't he wake up?

"Donny isn't sure what's wrong, Casey. We…" But Leo was cut off when Casey leapt up and punched the nearest wall with a loud roar,

"When I get my hands on those people I'll…."

"No, Mr Jones! We cannot think of revenge at this time. Raphael needs us here. Now sit down."

Casey reluctantly sat down, glancing at Leo who was now hugging Mikey, who was still crying, although silently now. It seemed an age before April stepped out of the infirmary. Four sets of eyes turned to look at her, each pleading with her to impart some news to them. She met the stares unflinchingly, and simply stated,

"You can all go in now."

As one, they all scrambled up to run into the infirmary, but quickly halted once they saw Raphael. He was lying in a bed, all sorts of wires and tubes coming off of him, and he was covered with bandages. As they walked in, Donny was adjusting a blanket round him, and they could now see Raph's body shivering violently.

"Its okay, guys. Come on." Donny said, and they all moved forward to crowd around the bed. A nearby machine was going _bleep bleep bleep _as it monitored his heart-rate – usually it might have been really irritating to listen to, but now they were all relieved to hear such a noise, as it meant Raph was still alive. Mikey was the first to speak up,

"Has he woken up yet, Donny?"

The purple-masked turtle sighed, and turned to face his younger sibling. "Not yet, Mikey."

"Do we know what's wrong with him, Don?" This came from Leo.

"Well, aside from the numerous flesh wounds and incisions, and a damaged plastron…"

"Wait a minute, what did you say about his plastron?" Leo asked, unconsciously running a finger down the front of his own.

"It's been damaged. In the lower half, where his belt would usually be, a small hole has been drilled into it, and the skin is scarred underneath. It looks like some sort of surgical drill was used to drill through the plastron to get to the skin underneath. And there was also a large incision that had been made into it, which has been repaired using some sort of glue."

"Someone _glued_ him together?!" Casey was appalled.

"Yes. But that damage isn't permanent – our plastrons have the amazing ability to repair themselves. It's the other problem that is the most worrying…"

Just then, they were all startled when Raph began to gasp, his breathing becoming shallow and rapid. As if he had been expecting this, Donny quickly turned, producing an oxygen tank and a specially designed mask which he then fitted over Raph's beak. It did not change his breathing much, but at least he would be taking in more oxygen now.

"What's wrong with him, Donny?" Mikey asked. He held Raph's hand and was surprised at how cold it felt.

"He has septicaemia." Donny stated, biting his lip.

"Septi-what?" Casey asked in bewilderment.

"Septicaemia." Donny corrected him, "Or, in lamen's terms, blood poisoning. He must have got it from an infected wound, and what you see now," he gestured towards the unconscious mutant, whose normally emerald skin was now very pale and shiny with sweat, "is severe septic shock. That's the reason he hasn't woken up."

"So, what do we do to treat him?" Leo asked, feeling a knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach. Donny didn't reply, so April filled in,

"Usually, the patient would be taken straight to hospital and put into Intensive Care. Obviously, we can't do that. We're giving him some broad-spectrum antibiotics through the IV, and we've taken some blood tests so that we can find out which specific antibiotics to use. We just have to hope that this works – we don't know how long he's had these symptoms."

"Wait a minute – are ya sayin' we could be too late?" Casey asked, his anger firing up again at the thought that those scientists had let his friend get this ill, and had done nothing about it.

"Yes." April replied softly, staring intently at the floor. She felt four sets of eyes staring at her, and this time felt uncomfortable under their gaze, for it was she who had possibly crushed their hopes of their brother's survival.

* * *

**_Sorry I had to cut it off there guys, but I haven't finished the next part, and I didn't want to keep you waiting for an update for too much longer (otherwise some of you might give up on me!)_**

**_Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter - as always, reviews are very much appreciated and help with a writer's motivation *hint hint* :D_**


	11. Something's Wrong

_**Ahem...[edges sheepishly into spotlight, clad in full SWAT gear]...**_

_**Hiya everyone. Before you all say anything and start throwing things at me, yes I am aware that this chapter is a little late. I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter, and I'm still not completely satisfied with it now, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting any longer, so just thought I'd publish it and see what you guys think. I really hope its not too bad - my sincere apologies in advance if it falls short of your expectations. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own TMNT or related characters. Only the plot is mine (well, at least, I think it is). :)**_

* * *

"My sons, Miss O'Neil and Mr Jones, we cannot lose hope. Raphael is strong, and if we believe in him, I know he can be even stronger. We must believe that Raphael can survive this, for if we do not, he has no chance of recovery. Now, you should all rest. I will sit by him for a while, and perhaps try reaching him through meditation."

"Alright sensei, but I shall come relieve you in two hours. Mikey can have the shift after me, and Casey can do the shift after him." Leo bowed as he left the room, everyone else following behind him to try to get some sleep. As he shut hid bedroom door behind him, Leo knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep, but he laid down on his bed all the same, now letting the tears run freely down his face.

Down the hallway in his own room, Donny was also struggling to sleep. He felt tired, but his concern for his older brother would not let him rest. With a sigh, he switched on his computer, and began trawling numerous medical sites, hoping against hope that he would find something that would help his brother. He knew April would be doing the blood tests right about now, and he was tempted to go to the lab to help her – anything so that he wasn't left alone with his thoughts. But he knew that April would simply waste valuable time – time they might not even have – shooing him out of the lab and into bed, so instead he just leaned back in his chair, still staring at his computer screen. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and begin to droop – he desperately tried to hold them open, but found himself unable to fight against his weariness, and within a few minutes he was in a deep sleep.

Mikey was sitting on his bedroom floor, an old shoebox in front of him. With trembling fingers, he lifted the lid, and began to remove its contents. There were several photos, and as he sifted through them he found himself remembering the times in which they had been taken. Like when they had first started training to be ninjas and how proud they all were when Master Splinter presented them each with their own ninja mask, and several photos from Christmases and Birthdays over the years. As he shuffled through them, he noticed that Raph was missing from several, or could just about be seen in the background – with a sharp pang he realised just how much they had all left him out over the years. _Maybe that's why he's like he is_, Mikey thought, _maybe __we__ did that to him. We always assumed that was just who he was, but what if we __made__ him like that._ The next picture he came across made Mikey's eyes fill with tears once again. He remembered all too clearly the day it had been taken….

_The turtles were about 14 years old, and it was almost midnight. Raphwas itching to go out – he had a new pair of roller blades, and couldn't wait to try them out in the local skate-park, which would be deserted by now for sure. He decided to ask Mikey if he wanted to go with him – Mikey was his best friend (although he'd never actually admitted this to Mikey), and Mikey loved the skate-park, because it gave him a chance to show off his skateboard moves. As usual, Mikey was vegging out in front of the TV. Raph approached cautiously- he hoped Mikey wasn't still upset with him for accidentally standing on and breaking one of his 'action figures'. _

"_No way, Raph. There's no way I wanna hang out with you anymore, not after what you did to Silver Sentry." _

"_Awww, c'mon Mikey. I said I was sorry. Anyways, it was only a little piece that came off – I glued it back together and ev'rythin'. Please, bro."_

"_Nuh-uh." Mikey glared at his older brother, before resuming his TV-time._

"_Fine then!" Raph stormed out of the lair, not wanting Mikey to see how upset he was. He went to the skate park, but it was no fun by himself. There, hidden in the shadows by one of the ramps, Raph did something he almost never ever did…he cried._

At the time, he had never really noticed it, but now Mikey could clearly recall the look of deep hurt that had appeared in Raph's eyes. Now that he thought about it, Raph's eyes often held that look of sadness and hurt, although it was often hidden behind a haze of rage. Mikey quickly put it back into the box, almost as if it had stung him, and in a way it had – he realised just how much his hot-headed brother was hurting. He felt tears run even more down his face, and he wanted Raph to be there, to hold him an dry his tears, just like he'd done when they were little.

"Don't leave us, Raph…don't leave _me_!"

* * *

Master Splinter has settled himself in a chair by Raph's bedside, and was now doing his best to reach his red-masked son through meditation. He was alarmed to find that he could not reach him – he could usually always reach them when they were ill. He was still trying when he sensed Leonardo enter the room. He opened his eyes, and looked at his eldest child.

"I could not communicate with him, my son. I do not know what is wrong – I have always been able to contact you all when you were ill."

Leo laid a hand on his father's shoulder, "It's alright, sensei. Raph will be fine – I know he will be." Master Splinter nodded slowly, before exiting the room. "He just has to be." Leo whispered to himself.

Over the next few days, Master Splinter tried repeatedly to contact his son through meditation, but failed to reach him every time. Meanwhile, Donny and April were working round the clock, trying to treat Raph. They had now worked out some more specific antibiotics to administer, but they had almost lost him several times. However, it now seemed as if Raph was pulling through – his fever was beginning to go, and his breathing was returning to normal. Yet he still had not woken up, and this was of great concern to everyone, especially coupled with the fact that his mind could not even be reached in their mediation sessions.

"When's he gonna wake up, Donny?" Mikey asked for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last couple of hours.

"I've told you Mikey – we just don't know. It looks like he's recovering from the septicaemia, which in itself is nothing short of a miracle, so now we just have to be patient and let his body heal."

"But he will be okay, though?" Mikey whined, wanting desperately for Donny to give him a definite answer.

Donny sighed – why could his little brother not understand that he couldn't answer that? "Mikey, why don't you go and watch TV or something? Don't worry, I'll stay here with Raph." Donny wiped his hand down his face as he watched his orange-masked brother reluctantly leave the infirmary. He then turned back to look at Raph….

….and was shocked to see his eyes were open.

"Raph! Oh, Raph!" Donny rushed to his older brother's side, grabbing his hand. "You're awake!" Nothing. Raph's eyes were open, but there was no response – Raph just stared up at the ceiling, the only movement being his body's mechanical reflex of blinking. Donny was both puzzled and alarmed – he waved his hand in Raph's line of vision to see if it incurred any response…nothing. In fact, the eyes held a glazed expression, as though even though his eyes were open, Raph was not actually seeing any of it.

"Maybe he's gone blind?" Donny wondered to himself, praying it wasn't so. But then he remembered that Raph had not reacted when he spoke to hi or touched him. No, something far more serious was wrong, and Donny didn't think it was a physical problem. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he did not hear the soft patter of feet behind him.

"My son, what is wrong?" Donny jerked out of his reverie at the sound of his sensei's voice.

"Master, he's awake, but…well, he's still unresponsive."

"What do you mean, Donatello?" The rat had a puzzled frown on his face as he approached the red-masked turtle. He could see that Raphael was awake,

"Raphael? My son, can you hear me?" There was no response to either this or the rat laying a furry paw on his shoulder. "Donatello, my son, something is very wrong with your brother, and I fear it may be a mental problem, and not a physical one."

"Can you do something, sensei? Perhaps you can reach him by meditation now?"

"I will try. Please, leave me alone with Raphael for a while – you may tell everyone that Raphael has awakened if you wish, but tell them they will not be able to come in to see him until I give them permission."

"Yes, sensei." Donny bowed, as he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Master Splinter once again settled down, eyes closed, to try to reach his son.

"Don, what's happened? Is Raph okay?" As soon as he saw Donny exit the lab, Leo had come running over to him.

"He's fine. It seems that he's recovered from the septicaemia but…"

" 'But' what, Don?"

"Well….he woke up - "

"He's awake! Donny why didn't you tell us! I have to go get the others!"

"No Leo! You don't understand – it still seems like he's not there."

"What are you talking about? Of course he's there!"

"No Leo. I spoke to him, touched him, but I got no response. It's kind of like his mind is somewhere else."

Leo stood there in shock, mouth gaping open. He couldn't process what Don was saying –something was wrong with Raph's _mind_?

Donny continued, "Master Splinter is with him now, trying to reach him through meditation again. If it is a problem in Raph's mind, then Master Splinter is our best chance of helping Raph."

"What if he can't? What happens then, Don?"

"I don't know Leo. I honestly don't know." Donny looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact with his brother, before quickly hurrying off to shut himself in his room. Leo was left still standing there in shock, still wondering what the shell was wrong with Raph.

* * *

It was a few hours later when Master Splinter finally exited the infirmary. He looked tired, and Leo quickly got up to escort him to his favourite armchair. By now, everyone was crowded round him, eager to hear what news he brought. The old rat looked wearily round at all of them, and sighed.

"My sons, Miss O'Neil and Mr Jones. I have been trying for several hours to contact Raphael through meditation. You will be pleased to know that I sensed Raphael, but unfortunately I was not able to reach him. It seems as if he has buried himself within his mind somehow, possibly as an escape route."

"Oh shell, poor Raphie." Mikey sniffled, eyes welling up.

"How do we get him back, sensei?" Leo asked, putting an arm around his baby brother's shoulders.

"All we can do is make him feel safe and secure. We must wait for him to come out on his own."

"More waitin'?! Geez, I'm sick o' waitin'! Why can't we do somethin'?" Casey had jumped to his feet, and his fists were clenched tightly at his sides.

"I understand, Mr Jones. I, too, feel helpless, as I am sure we all do. But we must be patient – this is something Raphael must do alone."

"Can we go see him now, sensei?" Mikey asked tearfully. The old rat nodded as he stood up.

"Yes, you may. Talking to him may help as well, even if it seems as if he cannot hear you. I am going to rest now." He then shuffled off to his own chamber.

The three turtles and the two humans approached the infirmary door cautiously – none knew quite what to expect, and were quite nervous. As they approached, they became less tense – with most of the tubes and wires now removed, Raph didn't seem so alien. But the glazed expression his eyes held was quite disturbing – it was like he was a million miles away. They sat down around his bed, waiting for something –anything – to happen. After a few minutes of silence, Mikey finally managed to say,

"Hey Raph. Ya know, we really miss you a lot….come back to us, okay bro?" His voice cracked as he said, "I want my big brother back."

"Yeah, Raph. You can do it, I know you can." Donny spoke up, putting an arm round Mikey's shoulders.

"You have to do it. Otherwise who am I going to argue with? And who else is going to question my every move as leader?" Leo tried to joke, his voice full of emotion.

"And whose gonna bust up those Purple Dragon punks wi' me if yer not 'ere?" Casey voiced.

"Raph, if you can hear me...just remember that we all care about you. We need you – things haven't been the same without you." April spoke softly, leaning against Casey's shoulder.

Nothing. Raph showed no sign that he had heard them. They all let out one big sigh – what had happened to him?

* * *

_**So, hopefully that was okay, and you aren't left feeling dissatisfied or as though that is a few wasted minutes of your life that you'll never get back. **_

_**Either way, please review. I've started on the next chapter now. Hopefully it won't give me as much trouble as this one did, but I'll just warn you that it could be a couple of days late. Thanks in advance for your reviews. :)**_


	12. Nightmares

**_Okay everyone, my apologies that this is late, and I apologise in advance for the fact it is on the short side. My excuse is that the file I started this chapter in disappeared off my computer, so I had to start again. Also, I've got a bit lost in my story - I know where I want to go with it, but its just how to get there at the moment. Don't worry, it should be okay. :)_**

**_Thanks to raphfreak for beta-reading this for me! :D_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. :'( _**

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Horrific screams ripped through the lair, awakening everyone.

Donny was the one who reached the lab first, to find a bleary-eyed Mikey trying to hold down a thrashing Raphael. It was Raphael who was screaming.

"Donny! Dude, help me out, would ya?" Mikey panted, struggling to hold down the turtle, for even with much of his muscle mass depleted, in the midst of a nightmare he was stronger than ever. Donny managed to get one of Raph's wrists restrained with one of the leather straps on the table, and was in the process of tying down an ankle when Raph gave a sudden lurch, ripping through the leather and freeing himself. Blood poured from his wrist, and Donny suspected it had been broken with the force of being pulled from the restraint.

"Mikey, hold him down!"Donny yelled over the screams, as he raced to one of the worktops. He found a syringe and filled it with some kind of liquid.

"I'm sorry, Raph," Donny said softly, a tear trickling down his cheek as he injected the sedative into his brother's arm. Within a minute, Raph's thrashing became weaker and soon he was sleeping peacefully once again.

"Donny! Mikey! What the shell is going on?!" Leo was standing in the doorway, with Master Splinter and April behind him.

"He…he was…having some sort…of…nightmare." Donny managed to pant out, still breathless from the exertion of trying to calm Raph down.

"What happened to Raphael's wrist, my son?" Master Splinter was stroking his red-masked son's sweat-covered forehead, but his eyes were focused on his bleeding wrist.

"Sensei, we…we couldn't get him to stop moving around. So we, er…we tried to strap him down, but he ripped through it."

"You tried to strap him down?!" Leo roared in anger, "They strapped him down – didn't you think strapping him down would have made it worse?!"

"Leonardo! Your brothers did the best they could; they simply wanted to stop Raphael from hurting himself."

"I'm sorry, Leo. Look, he should be okay now. But I think he broke his wrist when he got out of the restraint, so I'm gonna set that now. You should all go back to bed now. You, too, Mikey – I'll watch him now, okay?"

"Okay, Donny. But let me know if anything happens, okay?" Mikey yawned, before heading off to the warmth of his bed.

"I will, Mike." As Donny set about gathering the things he would need to set Raph's wrist, he felt someone staring at him. Turning, he saw it was Leo, now the only person left in the room, except for him and Raph. Averting his eyes, he focused on dealing with his brother's injuries, hoping that the blue-masked turtle would leave.

"Don -" Leo started, but was quickly cut off by the agitated Donatello.

"Don't even bother, Leo! I know what you're going to say – that I was a bad brother. Not only did I attempt to restrain him, just like they did, but I drugged him up as well, just like they did! Don't you think I realise that?! Don't you think it hurt me to have to do that to Raph?! Don't you –"

"DON! Just shut up for a minute, okay? Sure, I was going to say something about you strapping him down and drugging him, but I knew it must have been hard for you to do it. I was just gonna say – shell Donny, I was going to say I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I know that you were just doing what was best for Raph, but I just over-reacted when I first saw you do it. I'm sorry, Don." Leo finished softly, as he turned and exited the room.

Now alone, Donny sighed as he started to set Raph's wrist.

"See, Raph. You even cause arguments when you're unconscious." He managed a half-smile at his sleeping sibling, "But shell, Raph, I really wish you were back with us – I bet we'd all give anything to have a fight with you right now." He secured the wrist in place. "I love you, bro." he whispered in Raph's ear, before turning off the light and settling down to sleep in the cot they had set up by the bed in the infirmary.

Over the next few days, the nightmares got worse. He had always been prone to nightmares ever since he was a child, but these ones seemed much more violent, and were much more upsetting to watch. The first couple of nights, all he did was scream, but as time went on, sometimes the screams were replaced with mumblings. It was through these mumblings that it became clear just how much Raph had suffered.

Leo had just settled in the bed in the infirmary, so that he could be right there when the nightmare started. Just as he was beginning to doze, he was suddenly awoken by Raph's voice.

"Leo? Donny? Mikey? Guys?"

Thinking Raph had awoken, Leo was at his side within half a second.

"Raph?" But he soon realised that this was another nightmare.

"I can't do this! I can't! Not again – kill me now, please! No, wait! Don't leave me! I don't wanna be alone! No! No! Nooooooooooooooooo!" Tears were streaming down Raph's cheeks, he was shaking violently, and sobs wracked his body. It looked as though he tried to lift his arm to reach out, but was unable to – even though his wrists were free in reality, in his dream he was obviously still bound. Panic seemed to descend on the sleeping turtle – his breath came out in short gasps, his skin drenched in sweat, and his body began to thrash as though trying to escape from his bonds. His mutterings became more urgent, escalating into shouts, "Don't scream! Don't scream! Don't let 'im know – don't let her know! Please, god let me die! Let it be over!"

"Ssssshhh, Raph. Its okay – you're safe." Leo stroked his burning forehead, trying to soothe him, even though he didn't think Raph would hear him.

"Leo? No! You gotta go! Run! Now! Don't let them get ya, bro! I told ya not ta come lookin' for me! Leave me! RUN!" The machine began to beep wildly – his heart rate was too fast, and his breathing had to be slowed down. Quickly, Leo reached for the sedatives that Donny had started using when Raph's nightmares got too bad – just about managing to hold Raph's arm still, with a swift motion he injected the drugs into his bloodstream, waiting for the drugs to kick in. Within a few minutes, Raph was still once again, and the alarms had switched off.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Leo wiped the sweat and tears off his brother's face. As he did so, he thought about all the things his brother had said during the nightmare, and felt tears start to trickle down his own face. He couldn't believe he had heard those words coming from his brother's lips – Raph had always been too proud to admit when he was hurting, and he never ever voiced his feelings, not to anyone. But now…with a shudder, Leo wondered if his once strong and proud brother would ever be the same again.

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**_Yes, I know that was shorter than usual, but it was something for you to read, wasn't it? Please review. :)_**


	13. I lost Raph!

**_Hey everyone, this is just a short little chapter, but I thought I'd post it anyway, cos it has quite a sweet ending. :)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Don't own them - anyone know if they're for sale?_**

* * *

It was a few days later and there had be no real change in Raph's condition. It was Donny's turn to watch Raph. He glanced up from the book he was reading with a yawn – the clock told him it was 1am. He set the book down on the desk, and stretched, yawning again. He glanced at his older brother, who was sleeping seemingly peacefully. Deciding Raph would be fine for a couple of minutes, Donny went to the kitchen to brew himself some coffee. He came back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of the dark brown beverage, and glanced towards the bed – with a gasp, he dropped the mug of hot liquid all over the floor. Stepping over the shattered china and scalding hot puddle, Donny frantically searched the infirmary. He didn't even understand how Raph had gotten out of bed, so he didn't think he could have gotten that far.

He soon realised that Raph was not in the infirmary, so he dashed out into the main room. He had begun his search when,

"What are you doing, Don?"

With a jump, Donny turned to see Leo looking down at him from the balcony.

"Leo, you startled me."

"Sorry, don. But you haven't answered my question. You're meant to be watching Raph."

"Well, er – Leo, I don't know how to say this, but…" Donny rubbed the back of his neck, "I can't find him."

"Who can't you find?"

"Raph."

"What?!" Leo jumped down from the balcony, landing just a few feet away from Donny. He never usually did that, he preferred to use the stairs – it was usually Raph who jumped from the balcony. "How could you have lost him? He can't get out of bed! Shell, don, he's not even fully conscious!"

"Hey, dudes, what's the racket?"

"Don's lost Raph!"

"What?" Mikey had now also jumped down and was standing beside Leo, staring at the purple-masked turtle. "How the heck did you 'lose' him?"

"He was fine – I…I just went to get some coffee, and…and when I came back he wasn't there. But I'm sure he can't have gotten far."

"Where have you looked so far?"

"Only the infirmary."

"Well, I guess we'd better split up then. I'll check in here, you and Mikey check the bedrooms. I don't think he'll have left the lair."

With a nod, the turtles split into their different directions. Leo searched the living room, the kitchen, and the dojo, but found nothing. Mikey looked in Leo and Donny's rooms, while Donny was to search the other two bedrooms and the bathroom. Suddenly, Donny realised which room he was about to go into – it was Raph's room. No one had been in here since Raph had left. With a deep breath, Donny opened the door, intending to just peer in round the corner, for he doubted Raph would be in here.

As he opened the door, the darkness shrank backing the wake of the light now pouring in through the doorway. Donny noticed with a pang that everything was just as Raph had left it, except for the thick layer of dust that coated everything in sight. He was about to close the door again when he noticed the footprints in the dust layer on the hard concrete floor. Opening the door fully now, he saw the footprints lead to the back of the room, the part that was still shrouded in shadow. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the room, following the trail until –

He gasped. For there was Raph, huddled in the darkest corner of the room, looking at him with wild, frightened eyes. He was pushing himself so hard against the wall as Donny approached him, it looked as if he was hoping the wall would swallow him up.

"Get away from me!" Raph snarled, still pushing himself against the wall. Donny continued to approach, so Raph repeated, "I said get the shell away from me!"

Seeing how distressed his usually courageous brother was, Donny paused a few feet away from him, feeling tears pricking at his eyes. He slowly crouched down, and edged closer to Raph.

"Sssshhhh, its okay, Raph. It's Donny – I'm not gonna hurt you, bro. Sssshhhh, sssshhhh, its okay." He said softly, trying to comfort and calm his brother. As he got closer he reached out his hand towards his elder brother, who still looked terrified. It was then Donny realised – Raph wasn't seeing him, he was seeing _them_. He got closer, and put his hand on Raph's shoulder, still speaking soft, soothing words. Then, when he was just a foot away – WHAM! Raph punched him in the face. Donny fell back a little, rubbing his jaw – Raph could still throw a good punch. But he knew he couldn't leave him cowering like this, so this time as Donny approached, he grabbed both of Raph's hands. The red-masked mutant struggled, but Donny just about managed to hold firm. Donny sat down beside Raph, still holding his hands so he wouldn't get punched again.

"Raph – Raph, it's me, it's Donny. I'm gonna let go of your hands now, so you got to promise me you won't punch me again, okay?" Raph just stared at him, still thinking it was Dr Winthrop. Donny stared right back, until Raph nodded slowly. Donny released his hands and, before Raph had time to do anything, Donny was holding him tightly against his plastron, stroking his shell.

It was there, in the corner of Raph's room, that Leo and Mikey found the two brothers a little while later, Raph asleep in Donny's arms, and Donny sleeping with his head on Raph's shoulder.

* * *

_**So, there we are - I hope you liked that. :)**_

**_Update is coming soon - along with some new fics [raphfreak is a bad influence on me ;) ]_**

**_Please review even if its just a couple of words. Just click the button below and write something. :D_**


	14. Journey Into The Unknown Part 1

**_Hiya - before you all pounce on me and everything, I am aware that this update is very very late. :( _**

**_I can only apologise for that, but I've now reached a part of the story which is giving me a lot of difficulties. Plus, I'm back at college now, and exams are coming up, so I have a ton of coursework, homework, revision, etc. to do. _**

**_But enough of my excuses - here's chapter 14 (if you have still stuck with me for this long). _**

**_DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them. :'(_**

* * *

After that, Raph started sleep-walking pretty much every night, and often they would find him in his own room. One night, after they had just managed to get Raphael back to bed, Master Splinter gathered the other three turtles round him.

"My sons, I feel the time has come for us to do something about Raphael."

"What _can _we do, sensei?" Donny asked with an agitated sigh.

"We must try to reach Raphael through meditation. I feel that he is now within our grasp, and his nightmares and sleep-walking habit are evidence of this. If we are ever to attempt to return Raphael to us, it must be now."

The brothers glanced at each other, not speaking but seeming to communicate nonetheless. Finally,

"What do we do first, sensei?" Leonardo broke the silence.

"We must all join hands, and focus…" the sensei's words began to fade into the background as the meditation session went underway.

A few seconds later, they all found themselves standing in a barren plain of swirling dark mist.

"Duuuude." Mikey breathed in awe, "Where are we?"

"We are in Raphael's mind, my sons." Master Splinter spoke softly, glancing around in concern. He had not realised it was this bad.

"Why is it so dark? And empty?" Leo said, his voice echoing in the empty space.

"I do not know yet, Leonardo. But I know it is not a good sign."

"What do we do now, Master?" Donny spoke up, feeling well out of his depth – this was a spiritual situation, and Donny was a scientist.

Before Master Splinter could respond, a black hooded figure stepped out from nowhere.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Mikey let out a high-pitched girlish scream – everyone noticed the distinct absence of the deep Brooklyn-accented jibe and laugh that would usually have followed.

The shadow said nothing, and did not raise its head. Instead, it turned and pointed in an eastern direction. From no where, a black gate was illuminated. They stepped forward, but found the gate to be locked with a heavy red chain.

Mikey stepped forward to examine the lock – with any luck, he might be able to break it with one of his nunchucks. As he touched it, he quickly let go with a yelp of pain – the chain was red-hot, and had caused a small burn on his hand.

"How are we meant to get through?" Mikey asked, nursing his injured hand.

"This is a spiritual plain, my son." Master Splinter replied. Then, turning to the hooded figure, he mumbled something to it in a language the three turtles did not understand. The figure must have mumbled something back, even though they did not hear it, and the old rat bowed respectfully. The figure then glided towards the gate, and sweeping its hand over the lock, the chain fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. The dark shadow then made a gesture to indicate they should walk through.

The young mutants were still very confused, and turned t their sensei for reassurance. He understood their expressions instantly, and explained,

"My sons, this is the gatekeeper. It is a spiritual guardian of the mind, that oversees who is allowed access –"

"So, kinda like bouncers at night-clubs?"

"Yes, Michelangelo, very loosely like that. This is Raphael's gatekeeper – there is no need to be afraid. Go through the gate, my sons."

"But, sensei, what's on the other side?" Leonardo asked, ever wary of the unknown.

"Raphael's mind is on the other side."

"But aren't we already in his mind?" Mikey asked in confusion.

"Yes, my son, but think of this as a hallway or lobby – this is the part you enter first. Now, go through the gate- there is no need to be afraid."

They stood there, glancing at each other for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to be the first to cross the threshold into the unknown realm of Raphael's mind. Finally, Leo plucked up the courage,

"C'mon then, guys – we have a brother to save!" And with that, he stepped through the now open gateway, and stood waiting for them on the other side. Mikey and Donny soon followed, and waited with Leo for Master Splinter to follow.

"Er, sensei, you coming or what?" Mikey asked after a minute.

"My sons, you will have to continue on alone from here."

"But, Master, we need you – you're the only one here with enough knowledge of the spiritual plain," Donny felt a little nervous – he was not used to going into situations totally blind and armed with little to no knowledge.

"I am sorry, my sons, but I have been denied access to the realm of Raphael's mind. Even if I could get past the gatekeeper, there would be other safeguards in place to ensure that I did not enter very far. I know you can do this, my sons – I will be waiting right here for you to return."

With that, the gate was slammed shut, and the three brothers were left alone. They stood in silence for a few moments, simply surveying their surroundings.

They were in the middle of what seemed to be a dark desert –the ground was cracked like a riverbed in the midst of a drought, suggesting that it had not always been this way.

"So, what do we do now?" Mikey asked.

"I don't know, Mikey – I've never done this before." Leo said, feeling anxious now that their sensei was no longer with them.

Donny was examining the markings on the ground. He looked up one way, then the other. He stood up, and said, "I can't find anything to indicate which direction we should take. And there doesn't seem to be anything around for miles."

"Dudes, you're not saying we're lost, are ya?" Mikey panicked a little at the thought – after all, this was Raph's mind, and Raph was very unpredictable in reality, let alone his mind.

"Unfortunately – yes." Donny grimaced, waiting for his little brother to start freaking out. Before that could happen though, Leo interrupted with a gasp.

"Er guys, you might wanna take a look at this!" Mikey and Donny turned to stare at what their brother's shaking hand was pointing at, and Mikey's jaw physically dropped.

"Oh shell!"

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**_Sorry to have to cut it off there - I was planning for this chapter to be longer, but I thought it would be better for me to post something now, rather than keep you waiting for another week. _**

**_Hope it wasn't too bad, and you're not too disappointed by it._**

**_Please review - I really want your honest opinion, and any suggestions/ideas for the fic. Thanks! :D_**


	15. Journey Into The Unknown Part 2

**_Well, here's chapter 15. Just a warning in advance, this chapter ends at an awkward place just like with the last chapter (but hopefully it won't be too bad). ;)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them._**

* * *

From out of nowhere, on what had just been a barren patch of ground a second earlier, there now loomed before them a dark tower. It was incredibly high, and it was a miracle it could stand at all. You could tell Donny in particular was struck by it, for according to his calculations it defied all the laws of physics. At the top of the structure, a red beam of light shone intermittently, going round and round like that of a lighthouse. But it wasn't a strong light, and it seemed to flicker like the flames of a fire.

"Whoa, dudes, what is that?"

"I don't know, Mikey. Well, obviously it's a tower, but as to where it came from or what's inside, that's a mystery." Donny replied, still staring up in shock.

"It's the only place we have to go, so I guess we'll have to check it out." Leo felt a little apprehensive, and wished Master Splinter was here to guide them, but did his best to cover this up – after all, he didn't want to let Mikey or Donny down. Or Raph.

* * *

"How many…stairs…are there?" Mikey panted.

"I lost…count after…520."

"Geez, couldn't…Raph have thought…of elevators?...Or escalators?"

"Ssshhh. We're nearing the top now. Be ready, guys." Leo already had one hand on the hilt of his katana. At the top of the stairway was a small landing, and a huge wooden door. They waited outside the door for a minute to catch their breath. Then, Leo slowly and quietly lifted the latch, and crept into the room, closely followed by Donny and Mikey.

Peering round a pillar, they were all amazed at the sight that met their eyes. For there before them, sprawled on the floor of the room, was a huge dragon.

"Uh, guys, does that dragon seem familiar to you?" Donny whispered.

"Not really, bro. Why? Should it?" Mikey's brow furrowed as he tried to think of a time when they had ever come across a dragon.

"Well, I think it looks a lot like Raph's spiritual avatar. You know, when we battled the Demon Shredder?"

Realisation dawned on Mikey's face, "Shell, Donny, I think it is!"

"Well, what do we do?" Leo asked, now desperately wishing his sensei was here.

"Well, erm…" Donny racked his brains, but could think of nothing – after all, this spiritual lark really wasn't his cup of tea. (Or coffee. Or whatever.) He leaned around the pillar again to look at the dragon. Its breathing seemed to be laboured and wheezing, and it kept attempting to blow fire to keep the beacon lit, but all that came out were intermittent sparks. And it was chained to the spot. "It looks like it's sick. And it's chained to the floor. I don't think it could harm us, even if it wanted to."

"So, shall we –"

"Ya may as well come in." They were all startled to hear a voice that sounded very much like Raph's, only it seemed weaker than usual. When none of them moved, the voice continued, "If ya ain't gonna come in, then get lost. Leave me ta die in peace." Hearing his brother's voice sound so defeated and broken, Leo felt tears prick his eyes. He edged around the side of the pillar to look at the dragon. The creature had laid its head on the floor, seeming to have given up on trying to keep the light going.

"Raph?"

The creature wearily lifted its great head to look the turtle in the eye. It shook its head weakly, "No, I'm not the master. I'm Spirit."

"Spirit?" Donny and Mikey had now come around to sit beside Leo.

"Yes. I was once proud and strong, keepin' the fire lit with ease. But now…" it shook its restraints, the chains jingling.

"Wait, wait, wait. You're saying you represent Raph's spirit?" the dragon nodded in response. "And you keep his fire burning?" It nodded again in response to Donny's question. Donny rubbed his hand over his face, "Remind me never to dabble in psychology," he mumbled to himself.

"So, where is Raph?" Mikey asked.

Spirit sighed and glanced at the fire, which was quickly burning out. "The last time I saw him, he was entering the Valley of Memories."

"The 'Valley of Memories'?"

"Yes, it's a wondrous place, a place where all the memories are gathered. Ya can watch them replay in the Memory Pool. But…" Spirit fell silent and hung his head.

"What's wrong?" Leo was alarmed. Surely it was good that Raph was there.

"The Memory Pool doesn't choose the memories it shows. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. Sometimes they're things ya wanna remember; sometimes they're things ya would rather forget. It's easy to lose yerself. I fear that –"

"What?" Leo was getting annoyed now – what was Spirit not telling them.

"I tried to get to my master, to help him escape. But I was bound by these chains, my fire was taken. I'm broken, and the fire is almost out – the _master's_ fire is almost out, and his spirit is broken. If he doesn't escape by the time the fire dies, he's lost forever." With that, the dragon took a deep breath and once again tried to build up the flames, but to no avail.

"How long?"

"It's almost impossible to say for sure. But I don't think there's much time left – especially if he's where I think he is."

"And where would that be?" Leo was getting a little annoyed by now, wishing the dragon would simply come right out with it.

"A place where even the strongest light turns to darkness. A place where all the happiness in the world can't cure the sadness. A place where even the hottest fire can't warm the icy air. If my master gets trapped in this place, his fire will burn out within a matter of minutes. If he is there, he may already be lost to us." Spirit hung his head.

"We came here to get our brother, and we're not leaving without him!" Leo had lost patience now, "Just tell us where this place is, so we can get Raph and get out of here!"

"The place is to the North of here. But, please be careful – I'm not exactly sure what ya'll find there. And if my Master were to see you three, his beloved brothers, perish before him – his fire would go out within a heartbeat."

All the while, Donny had been silently listening to what the dragon was saying. Now, he spoke up, "Wait a sec, I have a question. You keep mentioning how this fire here represents Raph's fire, as in his passion, strength, etc. And you also keep referring to the fact that if this fire goes out, Raph will be lost forever. But surely, as we are in a spiritual place, if Raph were to die here he would not die in reality. Therefore, we would not die if anything should happen to us in that place."

"Donatello, I think yer too much of a scientist to fully comprehend your situation. If you die in this realm, nothing serious shall befall you in reality. However, this is my master's mind – should my master die in this realm, he will also die in the physical world."

Just then, the fire flickered violently and reduced considerably in size.

"He's there," Spirit said gravely, "And I fear this may be the beginning of the end."

* * *

**_Well, there it was - please leave a review, as these really do encourage me to write._**

**_Also, please check out the work of raphfreak and Simone Robinson - Simone is even running a DeviantArt contest for fic 'Missing Fire'. Just see Simone's profile for more details - we need a few more entries! :D_**


	16. Journey Into The Unknown Part 3

**_Yes, I know this is late, and I'm sorry. But unfortunately, this it the time of year when all college assignments seem to come at once - especially with regards to exams and revisions. So updates might be a little late, but I hope you'll forgive me now you know my reasons. _**

**_That's also why I've been neglecting you, RaphFreak. :( I'm really sorry, and I'll try to talk to you soon, k? Hopefully with the next chapter of Secret Weapon typed up. ;)_**

**_Well, I hope you like this chapter, even though I found it really difficult to write._**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own them (imagine how much revision I would do if I was offered them as a reward!) ;)_**

* * *

The three brothers had been walking for quite a while, following Spirit's directions. The dragon had been very apologetic, and had repeated over and over again how he would have taken them there himself if he could have escaped his chains. The fire was now dwindling fast, and they did not know how much time they had before it went out altogether. Failure was not an option.

"Come on, guys. Just a little bit further!" Leo encouraged, trying to keep his voice from sounding weary.

"Dude, I sure wish we had the Battle-Shell or sumthin'." Mikey panted, but he continued to walk at a fast pace, desperate to reach the place where his brother was.

"Hey Leo, you're into all this spiritual stuff, right? Isn't there a way we can get ourselves around any faster? Like teleporting?"

"Sorry, Don, I haven't learnt to do anything like that yet. If Master Splinter were here…" He quickly fell silent. He knew his brothers would also be wishing their sensei was here, but the fact was he wasn't with them – Leo just hoped he had learnt enough to save his red-masked brother.

After a few minutes, the air took on a sudden chill, and it seemed to grow darker. Before long, they found themselves walking not in the barren desert area as before, but something that looked somewhat like a cemetery. Mist swirled thickly round, shrouding everything in mystery. Shadows darted in and out, never getting close enough to reveal their identity.

"Er, dudes," Mikey spoke in a low, although slightly higher-pitched than normal, voice, "I dunno about you, but I'm getting seriously freaked out! This place is way off the creep-o-meter!"

"It's okay, Mikey. There's nothing to worry about." Leo sounded confident, but in reality he was just as scared as Mikey. "You okay, Don?"

"I –I guess so." Donny's voice was barely a whisper.

"Let's just find Raph and get out of here ASAP, okay?" The orange- and purple-masked turtles nodded at their eldest brother in quick agreement.

Suddenly, Mikey felt someone touch his shoulder. "Nice try, Donny – but you won't get me that easy!" He turned around to laugh at his brother but instead of seeing his brother standing behind him, he found himself staring into the red eyes of a strange creature that was grinning wickedly at him, baring its sharp fangs.

He screamed, and the creature vanished.

"What is it, Mikey?" Leo and Donny had continued walking, not realising that Mikey had stopped. When they turned around, they saw him walking unsteadily towards them through the mist, his face a very pale colour. "Mikey?"

"We – we're not – not alone." Mikey said shakily. Thinking it was one of Mikey's jokes, they both burst out laughing.

"Very funny, Mikey!" Donny grinned, "But we're not going to fall for it!" He turned and continued walking. He had only walked a couple of feet when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Leo, you don't seriously believe he saw anything –"Donny found himself face-to-face with the same thing that Mikey had seen, red eyes staring intently at him, white fangs flashing.

Not one for screaming, instead Donny managed to stammer, "L-L-Leo? L-Leo!" Leo was still talking to Mikey, telling him to give up this practical joke and help find Raph, but hearing the urgency in Donny's voice, he immediately snapped his head round in Donny's direction. What he saw standing in front of Donny made him feel like he had been punched in the stomach.

"What the shell is that?!" He managed to gasp out. He looked at Mikey, "Is that the thing you saw, Mikey?" His youngest brother nodded in response. Quickly turning back to the purple-masked mutant, he was surprised to find that the thing had gone. "Where'd it go?"

Donny simply shrugged, and replied, "I don't know – it just…disappeared."

Suddenly, a cry rent through the air. All three turtles immediately recognised who it was, and each simultaneously felt both relief and fear – relived that they had finally found him, but fear over what state he would be in.

"Raph!" They all yelled in unison.

"Where are you?" Mikey called.

"Donny, what direction do you think that came from?" Leo asked, straining to hear any further sounds.

"East…I think. It's so hard to judge…" Donny desperately wanted to be right, but nothing was certain in this spiritual plain.

"Then we head east! C'mon Mike! And be ready for anything!"

As they walked to the East, the mist began to thin, although it still remained dark and icy cold. They had only gone a short distance when they felt a change in atmosphere. Before, it had mainly felt creepy, but now it felt – it felt _evil_. They pressed on, desperate to find their missing sibling. Suddenly they came to a clearing, and the sight that met their eyes horrified them beyond belief.

Before them were two stone pillars, and circling round them were at least twenty of the dark demonic creatures they had seen in the cemetery-like place. And in the centre of all this – was Raph. He was chained by his wrists and ankles to the pillars, leaving him immobilised and completely defenceless. Blood ran down his arms, and was beginning to pool around his feet – he had clearly struggled against the restraints earlier, but now he just seemed…broken. He let his body sag, despite the fact that the shortness of the chains would not allow him to sit or kneel - it appeared that if the chains were undone, he would just slump to the floor.

As they continued to watch in horror, Donny, Mikey and Leo saw how the demons attacked the motionless Raph – one jabbed him with a taser-like device, while another whipped him, and others bit and clawed at him. His body convulsed as the taser touched his skin, but he seemed to have lost any will to fight back, and just let out small groans and utterances of pain as they continued to mercilessly torture him.

As they attacked him, they chanted words which the three turtles could not understand, but which Raph seemed to understand perfectly – they heard him faintly uttering things like "Didn't mean to do it" and "I can't face it anymore", and heard the unfamiliar sound of their red-masked brother weeping.

Leo felt the anger bubbling up inside him, anger stronger than any he had ever felt before,

"Get away from him!" he roared, running at the demons with his katanas unsheathed. Mikey and Donny quickly followed him, voicing their own war cries. Some of the demons turned to face them, baring their fangs in evil grins. Leo was first to reach this line of creatures, and he began slashing his katana this way and that, but to no avail. They did not seem to be made of any kind of substance – slashing the katana at them was nothing more than like swiping it through thin air. Leo paused for a second in confusion, wondering how they could defeat these things if their weapons had no effect.

The demon took this opportunity to attack Leo, biting and clawing at him, leaving several long deep gashes which began to bleed heavily. Leo tried to fend the creature off, but it was impossible – he could not touch it, and therefore could do nothing to protect himself.

He managed to twist his head sideways and saw that Donny and Mikey were faring no better – Donny was being attacked with a whip now, while Mikey was trying to avoid being electrocuted by a taser.

"…_if my Master were to see you three, his beloved brothers, perish before him – his fire would go out within a heartbeat…" _

Leo heard Spirit's voice echo inside his head, and quickly glanced to look at Raph. His eyes were closed, and his body was motionless, hanging from its chains.

"We'll get you out of here, Raph! I promise!" Leo said with determination. He gasped in shock as Raph struggled to open his eyes.

"L-Leo?"

"Yeah Raph, I'm here." He looked at his brother, tears stinging his eyes, as he saw how badly beaten his usually fiery, short-tempered brother was. Suddenly, Raph's eyes took on a look of great concern,

"You gotta get out, bro! It's not safe here –" Raph was silenced as a demon pressed a taser to his thigh.

"Get away from him!" Leo shouted, trying to sit up. He knew he had lost a significant amount of blood, but he had to protect Raph!

The creature simply grinned and its red eyes flashed in glee as it pressed the taser into the centre of Leo's plastron. He felt intense heat coursing through his body and fell to the floor, paralysed with pain.

"Leo, nooo!" He heard Donny scream. He managed to glance over towards his purple-masked brother, only to see him also being knocked to the floor. He tried to open his mouth to call out to Mikey, but was unable to do so. He glanced with worry at Raph, Spirit's words still echoing in his mind, and was alarmed to see the intense emotional pain that was evident in his brother's eyes.

Raph was looking intently at Mikey. Leo knew Mikey had gone down even before he heard the dull thud of his brother's body hitting the ground – he saw it in Raph's eyes. The dragon's words rung loudly in his ears,

"…_if my Master were to see you three, his beloved brothers, perish before him – his fire would go out within a heartbeat…"._He desperately wanted to call out to Raph, to tell him that it was okay, but knew it was hopeless. He fixed his gaze on his younger brother's eyes, and watched in terror as the light seemed to dim from them. He heard his brother give a heart-wrenching roar of intense pain and loss, and saw a blinding red flash of light, before he succumbed to unconsciousness.

* * *

**_Well, there you have it. I hope it was worth the wait, and you didn't find it too bad. This story has gone in a completely random direction, and to be honest I'm a bit out of my comfort zone now. :)_**

**_I sense the end of this fic is coming soon, though, unless I get some other random ideas for it. :(_**

**_Please review - thanks to all my reviewers for helping me reach over 60 reviews - the most amount of reviews I've ever got for a fic! You're all awesome! :D_**


	17. End of the Journey

**__**

Apologies in advance if this chapter seems a bit - rubbish. This fic definitely seems to be drawing to a close now, only a couple of chapters left I think. Anyway, on with the chapter...

**_DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. :( _****_**clutches hopefully at lottery ticket**_**

* * *

When he came to, Leo found himself lying in the same place as he had fallen. He quickly sat up, wondering how he had survived, and why he felt no pain. He was amazed to see that there were now no gashes on his body, not even scars left in their place – it was as if they had never happened. Hearing the sound of movement behind him, he turned quickly to see Donny and Mikey also awakening.

"Don, Mike. Are you two alright?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Donny replied, "It's as if our battle with those demons never happened."

"Yeah. Dudes, what just happened?" Mikey was also unharmed, just very confused.

"I'm really not sure, Mikey. All I remember was a blinding red light and hearing Raph – wait a minute! Raph!" he whirled round to look at his brother, feeling his stomach lurch at the sight that met his eyes."Raph!"

The red-masked turtle was hanging limply, only held up by the chains that still bound him. Leo rushed forward, slashing angrily at the chains. They broke easily under the blade of his katana, and Raph fell forward. Leo caught him as he fell, and lowered him to the ground, holding him upright a little in his arms. Donny and Mikey came and sat beside him.

"Donny – is he…" Mikey's blue eyes were filling with tears.

Donny felt Raph's wrist.

"No, he's still alive – barely. His pulse is weak, and his breathing is shallow."

"Is there nothing you can do, Don?" Leo looked pleadingly at the purple-masked turtle, which simply shook his head sadly.

"Why didn't his injuries heal like ours did?" tears were beginning to trickle down Mikey's cheeks. No one replied. "I wish Master Splinter was here." He added softly. Feeling totally helpless, he grabbed Raph's hand – and felt it being squeezed ever so slightly. His vision becoming blurry with tears, Mikey looked up at Raph's face.

Raph managed to open his eyes. Seeing his brothers around him, safe and unharmed, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought…I'd lost ya," he spoke barely above a whisper.

"We're all fine, Raph…thanks to you." Leo's own eyes were pricking with tears.

Raph chuckled a little, "You're my bros – I couldn't let anythin' happen to yers."

"And we're not going to let anything happen to you either, Raph. We're going to –"

"Ssshhhh, Donny. There's nuthin' ya can do."

"But Raph – you can't die!"

"Oh Mikey –"

"No! We need you – _I _need you!"

"No, ya don't. If anything', you'll be better off wi'out me –"

"Raph, we've been through this –"

"Alright, fearless, I know. But it's what I think." His eyes started to close, but he struggled to keep them open.

"Stay with me, Raph!" Leo shook him a little. "We are not going to let you die!"

"I'll always…be there…fer yer. I…love…ya…" he drew in a breath and released it slowly, his eyes closing. Mikey felt Raph's grip on his hand go limp.

"Noooooooo!" he wailed, gripping the sides of his head with his hands and beginning to rock back and forth.

Leo caught Raph's head as it lolled back, cradling his brother to his plastron, his body shaking as it was wracked with silent sobs.

Donny simply stared on in shock, unable to take in what had just happened. Raph couldn't die – he was _Raph_, and Raph didn't die! His throat ached and he felt the lump of unshed tears forming, making it difficult to swallow, but still he could not cry. Why couldn't he cry? Raph was dead and he couldn't even cry for him!

A strong feeling of guilt crept over him, as he watched his other two siblings grieving for their fallen brother. He reached out to Mikey, attempting to embrace him, but Mikey flung him off. An unfamiliar expression of anger took over the orange-masked turtle's face.

"You killed him!" Mikey screamed at Donny. "It's your fault he's gone! You could've saved him, but you did nothing! You _murdered_ my brother!"

Donny felt his mask become moist with tears and he began to sob,

"I know it was me. I'm the reason Raph's dead," he began to shout through his sobs now, "I'm supposed to be the healer! I'm the one that should've kept him alive! But I failed – I'm sorry! So so sorry!" he began clawing at his skin, trying to alleviate the intense emotional pain he was feeling. Suddenly, he felt someone grab his hands. He looked up with tear-filled eyes to see Mikey looking back at him.

"No, Donny! It wasn't your fault! Don't ever say it was your fault! Raph told us we couldn't do anything – he knew he was gonna die."

"But I should have tried –"

"Donny, deep down you know that you couldn't have saved him, no matter what you did."

"I'm sorry, Mikey."

"No, Donny, _I'm _sorry – I should never have said those things to you. I just needed someone to blame and – well, I blamed you."

"But I still feel guilty –"

"We all do, dude. Just remember, it wasn't your fault."

Donny sniffed and replied, "Thank, Mikey." The two brothers hugged and sat there, sobbing in each other's arms.

The brothers sat there for what must have been hours, but they did not notice the passing of time. Finally, Leo spoke up,

"We need to take him home. Sensei will want to see him." He got to his feet, holding Raph in his arms.

It was only once they stood up that they realised they were covered in blood – _Raph's _blood. They had been sitting in a pool of it the whole time. Mikey reached down and dipped his hand into it, and smeared some across his plastron, over his heart. Donny did the same. Leo's plastron was already smeared with blood. Taking a deep breath, they set off on their journey back to the gateway.

As they walked over the desert area they had crossed before, they were surprised to see the dry ground become covered with lush green grass and small flowers as they walked over it. But glancing back behind them, they saw the grass and flowers dying and turning grey as they lost their vibrant colours.

They passed the tower, but no red beacon was shining from it now, not even the faintest flicker of light. As they passed, the tower crumbled and fell to the ground, leaving only a pile of rubble where it had previously stood.

Suddenly, they heard the beating of wings above them. Looking up, they were amazed to see the form of a dragon hovering over them. It landed a few feet away.

"Give me my master."

"Spirit?!" they had all assumed he had died along with Raph.

The dragon nodded. "Yes. My master's spirit is free now, so I'm free too. Now let me take him."

"No!" Leo clutched Raph closer to him, and Donny and Mikey came to stand in front of him, ready to fight if necessary.

The dragon yawned widely, and suddenly the three turtles felt overcome with exhaustion. Their limbs felt like lead and their eyelids were too heavy to keep open. They felt their bodies slumping to the ground, but could do nothing to stop themselves. Just before they lost their battle with sleep, they saw the dragon gently lift Raph's body onto his back, and heard the beating of wings as Spirit took off, taking Raph away with him.

Then all went black.

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**_Dun-dun-duuuun!! ;)_**

**_I will update as soon as I can. _**

**_As usual, reviews are very much appreciated! :D_**


	18. Telling Sensei

**_I'm baaaaa-aaaack!!! So, did ya miss me? _**

**_I am so sorry for not updating in so long - just finished exams, and I'm sure you all know how tough they can be. Ah well, they're over now, so hopefully updates will once again be coming regularly. Yay! :D_**

**_Oh, and I've also recently discovered a love for the X-Men, so my username might change, or at the very least I am likely to start posting some X-Men fanfics as well as TMNT ones - I even have an X-Men/TMNT crossover fic planned!_**

**_So, I better not hold you up anymore - you've all been waiting a shell of a long time for this chapter, so go ahead and enjoy. I hope you like it!_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I still don't own them. :(_**

* * *

…_the beating of wings as Spirit took Raph away – then all went black._

"No! Raph! Don't leave me! Raph!" Mikey yelled as he sat bolt upright in bed. He was panting hard and drenched in sweat. He vaguely registered that he was back in his own room, and no longer in the spiritual region of Raph's mind. He tried to get up, but his limbs felt like lead. He flopped back onto his side, already feeling the grip of exhaustion pulling him back to sleep. He yawned widely and struggled to stay awake by concentrating on other thoughts, but he was too tired to think of anything other than sleep. Except for Raph, of course – he saw the face of his lost brother in his mind's eye whenever he closed his eyes.

As he drifted off to sleep, he murmured,

"Come back to me, Raphy. Please don't leave me here alone."

And in his between-sleep-and-awake state, he imagined he could hear Raphael's voice saying,

"Yer'll neva be left alone, bro, I'll always be here fer ya."

A tear trickled down Mikey's cheek as he finally fell asleep, still thinking about his beloved older brother.

……

A shrill cry rent through the silence of the lair, instantly awakening everyone who was still asleep. Leo felt sick as he realised who had cried out, and the room where it seemed to have originated from. Jumping, Raph-style, to the lower floor straight from the balcony, Leo sprinted towards the infirmary.

"Mikey, why the shell did you go in there by yourself? You –" Leo fell silent as he reached the open doorway, and his gut twisted in horror at the scene before him – Raph was gone!

Mikey was curled up on the bed where Raph should have been, clutching the dishevelled sheets tightly to his plastron, sobbing violently.

"M – Mikey?"

The youngest turtle flinched in a startled manner, and turned towards Leo. His eyes were red and puffy, and his mask was several shades darker than usual and dripping wet with his tears.

"Where. Is. Raph.?" Leo fought to keep calm, when really all he wanted to do was shout and scream.

"I – I – don't – know," Mikey gulped through his sobs, trying to regain control of his breathing. "I – I came in here – to – to – see him and – and – he was – g-g-gone!" Mikey burst into a fresh bout of tears.

"What the shell –" Donny had entered the room now and was staring in confusion at the youngest and eldest turtles. "What's going on?"

Leo, still struggling to keep his composure, replied, "Raph's gone. Mikey came in to see him and – he wasn't here."

"But how could he have gone anywhere? It's not possible. He's…" Donny couldn't bring himself to say the word, so fell silent.

"My sons, what is the meaning of all this noise?!"

They all jumped and whirled around, surprised to see their sensei standing in the doorway.

"Sensei, Mikey came in here to see Raph and he was – gone."

"Then why are you not searching for him, my sons?" Leo glanced at Donny in confusion. "Sensei, didn't you move him?"

"Of course not, Leonardo. In fact, Mr Jones and I were forced to restrain him for a few hours last night – it seemed he was having another nightmare. Or perhaps it was evidence of what was happening during your visit to his mind." He looked pointedly at his three teenage sons. "So, I shall ask again, my sons. Why are you not searching for Raphael?"

The three turtles looked awkwardly at each other, none of them wanting to be the one to tell their father that his son was dead.

Finally, Leo spoke up, in a shaky voice, "Father…Raph…Raph died."

"What is this foolishness, Leonardo? Raphael is not dead."

"But, Master – we saw him die," Donny put in.

The elderly rat looked soberly at them, "My sons, I realise you believe that you saw your brother perish, but you must trust me when I tell you that Raphael is not dead. Now, go look for him at once."

They all desperately wanted to believe their sensei, but none dared to get their hopes up – they couldn't bear the pain of losing Raph all over again. But, as if to humour him, each left the infirmary to 'look' for Raph.

Mikey's first idea was to look in Raph's bedroom, after all that was where he had always ended up when sleep-walking. He half-expected to find him there, alive and well, snoring like a chainsaw in his hammock, as if the whole thing had just been some awful nightmare. But Mikey knew no one was in there as soon as he opened the door – it was eerily still, just as it had usually always been since Raph left two years ago. With a sigh, Mikey closed the door again and walked down the corridor to his own room.

In the light let in by the partially open door, he saw all the familiar things in his room: his piles of comic books, his action figures (or 'dollies' as Raph always called them), a cardboard box labelled 'Turtle Titan' in one corner, and his collection of scrapbooks on a shelf, to name but a few of his numerous possessions. He thought about how much stuff he had, and thought back to how bare Raph's room had been: weights stacked in one corner, his hammock slung from the ceiling, a punching bag hanging in one corner, and very little else. Mikey vowed that if Raph really was still alive, he would get him more stuff for his room. Maybe some pictures of motorbikes or something – shell, there had to be _something_out there Raph would like.

He was about to close the door again when something caught is eye – something _green_. It was just outside the light from the doorway, shrouded in shadow. Mikey paled when he realised what (or rather who) it was – it was Raph!

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**_So, how was that?_**

**_I really appreciate reviews, and personally reply to each one. I am aiming for at least 100 reviews on this fic - will you please help me reach my goal? Reviews also help motivate me to write, thus helping updates come faster. ;)_**

**_8) p.s. I hope to speak to you soon RaphFreak - I've missed you too, and can't wait to catch up with you (and on your fics!). 8)_**


	19. A Brother Found?

_**First off, I am so so so so sorry for taking so long to update this. I thought that after college finished I would have more free time – who woulda thought life would actually get busier?! And I've had the worst bout of writer's block, too. :(**_

_**But, it seems my writer's block is going away – perhaps it's cos I'm currently on holiday in Arizona! Yep, I'm lovin' the hot weather, and it's just been awesome so far. (The holiday was another reason I didn't have time to write, cos I had so much stuff to do, e.g. packing, changing currency, travel insurance, etc, etc, etc)**_

_**So, anyway, here's the next chapter, and I hope it doesn't disappoint you all too much. I swill warn you now though, it does have a rather abrupt, cut-off ending, mainly because my writer's block isn't completely gone yet, and I didn't want to have to make you wait any longer.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them. :'(**_

* * *

"Raph! Oh shell, Raphy!" Mikey was by his brother's side in an instant. "Hey Donny! Leo! Dudes, I found him!" he shouted, before returning his attention to the red-masked turtle before him. Raph's skin felt cold and he was lying very still, but Mikey was relieved to see his plastron gently rising and falling. He was breathing – he was alive! Mikey burst into tears of joy, as he grabbed the blankets off his bed and tucked them round Raph.

"Oh Mikey, it's okay." Donny and Leo were standing in the doorway, and had mistaken Mikey's tears for sadness.

"Yeah, dudes, it is! Raph's alive!"

"Mikey –"

"No, Donny, look – he's breathing, see!"

Donny knelt down and began to examine his brother. "Vitals seem to be normal, he's a bit cold, but he's alive! Leo, he really is going to be alright!" Donny felt his own relieved tears begin to course down his cheeks.

Leo simply stood there in shock – how could Raph possibly be alive when they had all witnessed his death? But he too saw the gentle rise of his brother's plastron as he inhaled, and knew then that his brother was truly still with them. Leo felt the hot tears that had been pricking his eyes spill over his eyelids and torrent down his cheeks. Soon, the blue-, purple-, and orange-masked turtles were in a group hug, all sobbing tears of joy.

"Urgh shell – I feel like I bin run ova by an 18-wheeler." The three turtles whirled around in surprise at the sound of that familiar voice, to see Raph attempting to sit up. "Make that two 18-wheelers," Raph added with a groan as he gave up and sank back down to the floor.

"Raph!" they all shouted as they crowded round him.

"Geez guys – anyone'd think I'd died and bin brought back to life."

"But Raphy, you ha-" Mikey was silenced by a gesture from Leo.

"Don't you remember what happened, Raph?"

"No – last thing I remember was us gettin' that note from Karai. After that – nuthin'." In truth, Raph remembered everything – his deal with Karai, the torture sessions with Winthrop, even something of the events which had transpired in the spiritual realm of his mind. But there was no way he was going to reveal this to his brothers – surely it would be better for them if they thought he couldn't remember anything about his ordeal?

"Why? Did something important happen?" Raph continued. He saw Mikey open his mouth as if to speak, but a glare from Leo made him close it again.

"No, Raph, nothing important. All that happened was we were in a fight with some upgraded Foot-Techs, and you came worst off. You've been unconscious for a few days."

"Really? Whoa, I must be losin' my touch, huh? Betta fit in a few extra trainin' sessions."

"Not just yet, Raph. I'm putting you on bed-rest for a few weeks. And you will stay in bed until I say you can get up, even if I have to strap you down myself." Donny spoke firmly, quickly going into doctor-mode. All he really wanted to be doing was hugging Raph and telling him he could have anything he wanted – ice cream, pizza, soda, shell he'd even give him possession of the TV remote control for the next thirty years, or try and upgrade the shell-cycle to travel at triple its current maximum speed – he was just so happy that his older brother was alive. But Donny knew they had to act as if this were any normal injury, which meant Donny had to play the family physician.

"C'mon Donny – I made it all the way here, didn' I? I'm fine." Raph sat up and tried to hide the nauseous dizziness he immediately felt.

Donny didn't look convinced, but decided not to say anything for now. Instead, he responded, "Which begs the question, Raph – why are you here?"

Raph felt his face burn hot with embarrassment, and was so glad that his emerald green skin didn't show when he was blushing. He simply shrugged awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with his brothers.

"Dude! It really was you I heard this morning!" Mikey suddenly yelled excitedly, making Raph flinch.

"Mikey, what are you talking about?" Leo asked, arms folded across his plastron.

"This morning, I woke up after dreamin' about Spi– uh, I mean, after dreamin' about Raph, and I said something about not wanting to be alone, and I thought I imagined Raph replying. But I didn't imagine it, did I, Raph?" Mikey now turned to his older brother, his big blue eyes glistening with emotion.

Raph sighed and shook his head, staring down at his hands. "No Mikey, ya didn' imagine it – I really was talkin' to ya."

"I knew it! I knew you wouldn't leave me!" Mikey threw his arms around Raph, temporarily forgetting about his brother's injuries. Raph did his best to hide the pain he felt, and hugged Mikey back.

"Of course I wouldn't leave ya – remember: I'll always be here for ya." Raph whispered in the youngest turtle's ear.

Mikey smiled and whispered, "Love ya, Raphie."

"Love ya too, bro." Raph responded in a low voice. He then coughed lightly and released Mikey from his embrace. Mikey reluctantly let go, looking a little sheepish as he was reminded of how injured his brother was, and how careful they should be with him.

There followed a fairly awkward moment of silence, no one knowing what to say next, until Raph suddenly spoke up,

"Well, as nice as this lil family reunion thing is, I'm off to bed."

"Back to the infirmary bed, I hope you mean, rather than that darn hammock. The last thing we need is for you to fall out of it." Donny said seriously, just as he always did when Raph was hurt. And Raph followed with the same response he always did,

"That 'darn hammock', Donny-boy, just happens to be the most comfy bed in the Lair." Then, with a grin, he added, "C'mon – I know all you guys love it when I'm forced to sleep in the infirmary, 'cuz then you all have a go sleepin' in it."

The four brothers laughed together, just as they had often done in the past. But this time it was all the more special, as they had come so close to being reduced to three.

_**

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**__**Okay , so hopefully that wasn't too bad.**_

_**I can't help feeling that as this fic has progressed, the quality of each chapter has been dropping rapidly. I was looking over the first few chapters the other day, and they seem way better than the rest of the fic. Any ideas/suggestions on how to fic this would be very much appreciated.**_

_**As always, please read and review. :)**_


	20. Feelings Revealed

_**Okay, so I know I kept you waiting for this chapter, but I hope you will find it was worth the wait. **_

_**This was definitely a very fun and exciting chapter to write (especially the end), and I hope it will be just as enjoyable to read as it was to write. :D**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them, but every night I wish upon a star that I will some day.**_

* * *

Three weeks had now passed, and Raph was already determined to get out of bed. Of course, Donny had refused to give permission, so Raph did what he had always done – he disobeyed orders and snuck out.

One night, Leo caught Raph in the Dojo at 2am, lifting weights. He watched silently from the doorway as his brother, still weak from his injuries, pushed himself further and harder, until he was forced to drop the weights and collapse on the floor, his over-tired muscles shaking uncontrollably. Leo did his best not to let the tears fall when he heard the frustrated cursing of his brother, chastising himself for his current weakness.

For as long as Leo could remember, Raph had always been the muscular one, lifting the heaviest of weights with ease, while the rest of them struggled to lift weights even half as heavy. Now, it broke his heart to see his brother like this, especially how broken Raph seemed, now unable to do all that he had done before. They had tried to make him understand that it would take time, but he had never had much patience, which was one of the reasons he often struggled in meditation.

And so, on most nights now, one of the brothers would get up in the early hours of the morning, to check whether Raph was in the Dojo, and if so, to drag him back to bed. But normally, they'd all be awakened earlier anyway, by Raph's screams – his nightmares were getting worse.

Master Splinter was deeply concerned by this. He understood that though Raph's physical wounds were healing quickly, the mental ones would take time, and perhaps a few would never ever heal. But he thought there would have been some improvement by now, but it seemed that things were only getting worse. After an extremely bad episode, the elderly rat decided it was time to discuss his thoughts with his other three sons.

"My sons, I am very concerned about your brother and his nightmares. It seems to me, they are getting worse, instead of better."

"But sensei, you did say it would take a while for Raph to begin recovering mentally. Perhaps his nightmares have to get worse first, before they get better."

"Hmmmm, perhaps, Leonardo," he considered. "But we need to watch the situation closely. It seems to me that your brother has been keeping something from us, and it is hampering his recovery."

"Master Splinter, you can't be serious? Raph keeping stuff bottled up!" Donny said incredulously.

"Yeah, dude – Raph's always let everyone know how he feels. And I've had the bruises to prove it." Mikey chuckled, finding it hilarious that anyone could accuse their hot-headed brother of hiding his feelings.

"All the same, my sons, this is what I believe is happening. True, Raphael has always made his feelings known in the past, but an ordeal like he has been through can cause major alterations in character."

"Of course, sensei, we understand. We will keep an eye on him, don't worry." Leonardo assured their father/sensei. The old rat nodded, and shuffled back into his chamber, indicating to his sons to return to their beds.

On his way past, Leo looked in on Raph, to check he was alright. However, Raph was not there.

"He's probably just gone to the bathroom," Leo thought to himself, but was alarmed to see the bathroom door open, and the room in darkness. "Or not." He began to panic a little, but fought to keep his emotions under control – after all, Raph couldn't have gotten far.

Donny and Mikey had already gone back to bed, so Leo searched for the red-masked turtle alone. He checked the bedrooms, the kitchen, and the Dojo, all without success.

"Where the shell is he?" Leo grumbled, trying to cover his anxiety with annoyance at Raph. He considered calling off his search and going back to bed – Raph would be fine, and he'd probably only get angry if he found out Leo was hunting around for him. But Leo couldn't just stop looking – then it would be as if he'd abandoned Raph.

Suddenly, Leo was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of a loud, yet oddly muffled, roar of anguish. Something about it seemed oddly familiar, but in his sleep-deprived state, Leo couldn't seem to quite place it. He didn't have to think long though, for just a moment later he was bowled over by a green and orange blur, closely followed Donny.

"Oh no, is Raph havin' another nightmare?" Mikey had now stopped, just a few feet from Leo.

"What are you talking about, Mikey?" Leo asked, as Donny helped him to his feet.

"That was Raph we heard making that noise, wasn't it?" Donny answered.

Realisation dawned on Leo's face, "Oh shell – yeah, that was Raph! But – I don't know where he is."

"Well, he sounded far away. You don't think..." Donny paused, trying to consider whether it was plausible. "...You don't think he's left the lair do you?"

"C'mon Donny, we were in here the whole time – we'd have seen him sneaking out, wouldn't we?"

"I dunno, dude, Raph's always been mega awesome at stealth – after all, he's had loads of practise sneaking to the surface at night."

"But surely he wouldn't have been so stupid –"

"Leo, this is Raph we're talking about, remember? Since when did he become known for doing the sensible thing?"

"Yeah, dude – Raph's all about passion." The other two gave Mikey an odd look, so he quickly explained, "What I mean is, he acts on impulse, on his feelings. He doesn't stop and think first, he just does it. Sometimes his passion makes him do stuff we don't think is sensible, but he does it anyway because that's what he feels he has to do."

Donny and Leo stood there staring at their youngest brother, mouths wide open in shock – it was practically unheard of for Mikey to ever say anything so deep. But they were snapped out of this state by another muffled roar.

"I think that we can definitely say he's left the lair," Donny said, quickly calculating their estimated distance from the source of the sound, "But it's hard to tell which direction, because of the acoustics down here. It's so echoey, sounds reverberate off the walls and pipes, making it hard to pinpoint exactly where the sound originated from."

"So, should we split up?" Mikey asked, while Leo was already trying to work out who would look where. Suddenly, Donny snapped his fingers,

"I know where Raph is!" he declared, stopping only to grab his brown duffel bag before sprinting out of the lair. Mikey and Leo shrugged at each other, before quickly following their purple-masked sibling.

[A few minutes later...]

"If my suspicions are correct, he should be right around here," Donny continued, slightly breathless from running.

"The old drainage tunnel? Are you sure, Don?" Leo asked, his high level of physical fitness evident in the fact that his breathing was normal.

"Sure...thing...dude," Mikey managed to pant, inwardly wishing he had not eaten so much pizza for dinner or so many snacks before bed. "Don't you...remember?...He always...used to...come here...when he...was...upset...back when...we lived in...the old...lair."

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, he heard a loud pounding sound.

Rounding the corner, the three brothers gasped at the sight they saw before them. For there was Raph, pounding his fists into the brick wall. Already, his hands were bloodied and swollen from the repeated impact, and Donny expected there would be more than a few bones broken. But they would deal with that later – for now, Raph's mental state was the main issue. Leo took a step forward, reaching out his hand towards Raph.

"Don't ya dare!" Raph snapped savagely, still pounding the wall. "Don't ya come near me!"

Leo was startled, and pulled his hand back, but rather than obeying, he took another step forward. "Raph, it's okay – it me, its Leo."

"I know it's you, shell fer brains! An' I told ya not ta come any closer!" Still Raph had not stopped hitting the wall, and his eyes had remained focussed on the wall in front of him.

"Come on, Raph, we're gonna take you home and –"

"NO!" Now Raph whirled round to face him, his eyes blazing with fury. Donny and Mikey had not moved from where they were, too shocked at what they were witnessing.

"Calm down, Raph! Look, let's go home, and sort this out," Leo said softly, trying to calm his hot-headed sibling.

"NO! Don't you get it?! I don't want to go home! I NEVER wanted to go home!" Raph roared at his older brother. Leo flinched inwardly, but did not let this show.

"Raph, what do you –"

"What do I mean, Leo? Well, I'll tell yer what I mean, oh Fearless Leader. I NEVER wanted you guys to come and rescue me! I NEVER wanted to be rescued! I wanted him to KILL ME!"

Leo felt tears pricking his eyes, but fought to hold them back. He heard Mikey sniffling behind him. "Why are you saying this, Raph?"

"Because it's the truth! All this time, I've bin wishin' that ya'd never come fer me, that yer'd just left me there to die."

"But Raph – why would you want to die?" Donny had now stepped forward.

"Because then all of ya wouldn't!"

"What do you mean, Raph?!" Leo cried in frustration.

"I AM GOIN' TO KILL ALL OF YA!" Raph roared, his own tears now coursing down his cheeks.

"But Raphie, you'd never hurt us! Why are you sayin' all this?" This came from Mikey.

"I've always hurt ya! All of yer! All of our lives, I've bin the one that hurts ya. I'm the one who gets us into fights, I'm the one who disobeys orders, I'm the one who puts yer lives on the line all the time! Why couldn't ya let me die?! Why couldn' ya let me SAVE yer?!"

"Save us from who?! Karai?"

"From ME! I'm gonna kill all of yer – I'm gonna bring about the death of yer! Do ya have any idea what it's like, havin' somethin' like that hangin' over yer head every day of yer life?! To know that yer gonna be the death of the ones you love most in all the world, the ones yer've spent yer life trying to protect?! "

"Raph, that's not true, you know it's not!"

"Yeah it is, Leo – and ya know it is! Don' lie to me, bro! Ya've neva lied to me before, so don' start now! I know what I've done to ya – to all of yer – and every time I get one of yer hurt, another part of me dies. I want yer to know, I neva meant to hurt yer, an' I don't wanna hurt yer ever again, but I know that for as long as I live I will!" Raph fell to his knees, sobbing. His three brothers stood in shock, feeling sick at the sight of their red-masked brother crying. Raph hadn't cried in a long time – in fact, none of them could remember the last time they had seen him cry. But now they all came to realise that just because you don't see the pain, it doesn't mean it isn't there – and it made them wonder, just how often had Raph cried in private?

Leo put his hand on Raph's shoulder, and for once, Raph didn't shrug it off. "Raph...Raph, what brought this about? Is it because of what happened to you?"

Raph shook his head, "No, bro – it's the nightmares. Every night, I see _him – _and then I see yer all, lyin' there on the floor in a pool of yer own blood. An' then he looks at me and he...he _laughs._" Raph paused, trying to stifle his tears.

"But Raph, it was just a nightmare – that is _never _going to happen_. _So, stop worrying about it, and let's go home."

"No, bro! Ya don' understand – none of yer do!" Raph had by now snapped his head up to look at them all. "I _know _this is gonna happen – he _is _gonna find me. And when he does he..." Raph lowered his head. "...he will kill yer," he finished, barely audible.

There was an awful quiet, as they all stood there, shocked into silence.

Suddenly Raph snapped his gaze up to meet Leo's.

Amber orbs glistening with tears, Raph begged, "Please...please kill me!"

Leo took a step backwards in horror, while Donny and Mikey stared, also horrified at what their brother had just asked of them.

"How could you...how could you ask such a thing, Raph?!"

"Please, Leo, just do it! I am beggin' ya! Don' let me hurt you guys anymore – please end it...Argh!" Without warning, Raph grabbed his head with both hands, screaming in agony.

"Raph! Raph, what's wrong?!"

But Raph could give no response, because the next second his body was in the grip of a severe seizure. He fell onto the floor, his body convulsing violently, his eyes rolled back in his head so that his pupils could no longer be seen.

"Raph! Nooooooooooo!"

* * *

_**Well, that was definitely one of my longest chapters, huh?**_

_**I really hoped you enjoyed it, and are looking forward to the next chapter.**_

_**As always, please leave a review – even if it's just one or two words – I always reply to reviews (unless, of course, they are not signed). :)**_

_**p.s. not many chapters of this fic left now. :(**_


	21. Please Make It Stop

**_*Ahem* (nervously shuffles into the spotlight) Hi everyone. I know this chapter has been incredibly long in coming, so I'm not gonna keep you from the chapter for too long. I hope you've all stuck with me, but I won't blame you if you haven't (in which case, you won't be reading this, so I'm not sure why I'm writing it. lol) Anyway, I'm sure a lot of you are rady to kill me for making you wait so long, so I'm gonna disappear now. Enjoy the chapter! :)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them - but a girl can dream. ;)_**

* * *

The room was silent, except for the steady bleeping of the monitor. The occupants of the room were still and silent, each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, one of them could take no more,

"Shell, Donny, it's been four days! Why hasn't he woken up yet?!" Leo yelled, springing to his feet.

Donny sighed and rubbed a hand tiredly over his face – he hadn't slept since it happened, and even his usually endless patience was wearing thin. "Leo, we've been through this. I don't know what's wrong with him – I've done every test I can think of, and I still can't find anything wrong."

"But there _has_ to be something – people don't just have seizures for no reason!"

"Dude, lay off 'im, will ya? He's doin' his best."

"Then why is Raph still like this?!" Leo balled his fists and screwed up his eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall.

"My sons! Stop this!" All three of the young turtle's heads whipped around to face their sensei. "You are not helping Raphael by arguing, and you are most certainly not helping each other. You have not slept in days, my sons – this is not healthy, and I do not need you to also be unwell. Go to your rooms and rest – I will stay with Raphael."

"But sensei –"

"Do not worry, I shall wake you if necessary." He shooed them from the room with a wave of his paw, and closed the door. He quietly crossed the room, and stood by his red-masked son's bedside.

Gently stroking Raph's head, he spoke softly, "I know you can hear me, my son, though you cannot show it. I know you are fighting against whatever it is that has hold of you – your spirit has always been fiery and strong. You have never been one to ask for help, even when you need it most, but please, my son, let me help you now."

The old rat sat cross-legged on a nearby chair, and concentrated. He hoped his son would accept his offer of help, and that he would not resist his attempts to reach him by meditation. He drew in another deep breath, and as he exhaled, he knew Raph had opened the door to his mind.

* * *

Master Splinter found himself in an empty space, all pitch black except for an area a few yards away that was bathed in a single red beam of light, which flickered rhythmically on and off. As Splinter walked towards this red light, he saw something – or rather some_one_ – sitting on the lit-up floor. As he drew closer, he recognised the being to be that of a younger version of Raph, perhaps about 7 years old.

The child was holding his knees bent up in front, against his plastron, and was rocking slowly back and forth, whispering something almost inaudibly to himself.

Swallowing hard, the old rat asked gently, "What is the matter, my son?"

The young turtle jumped with surprise, turned in his direction, and looked tearfully at him, before saying, "Please make it stop, dad, please."

These words tugged at the rat's heartstrings, for he remembered how often he had heard these words in the past, when Raphael was a child, and had just suffered yet another nightmare. But he did not think nightmares were what was troubling this version of his son.

He knelt down to the child's eye level. "Make what stop, my son?"

"The noise – the beeping noise."

Splinter was just about to ask what noise he was talking about when he too heard a faint rhythmic bleeping noise, and now realised that the red beam was going on and off in accordance with the sound. "Do not worry, my son, that is just one of Donatello's medical machines."

The young Raph shook his head, "Nu-uh – it's in here, with me." Suddenly, the young turtle seemed to get into a panic, "Please, make it stop, dad, make it stop! Turn it off! Turn it off!" The turtle fell on the floor, sobbing, still pleading with his father. Master Splinter was just reaching out his paw to comfort his young son, when the Raphael before him changed. Now he saw his son as he was in reality.

"Raphael, what is going on?"

The red-masked turtle did not look up to meet his sensei's eyes. "He's comin'."

"Who is coming, my son?"

"W – Winthrop."

"But how, Raphael? He cannot possibly find you down here."

"He has 'is ways. Hear that beepin' noise?" His sensei nodded, and Raphael continued, "That's the sound of the tracker he implanted in me. It's been activated, which means he's comin' fer me."

"But Donatello examined you thoroughly; surely he would have identified the presence of such a device?"

The red-masked turtle shook his head, still not looking up to make eye contact with Splinter, "Not even Donny could've found it, not in the place he put it." Anticipating the elderly rat's next question, Raph raised his slightly shaking hand and tapped his head. He heard his sensei gasp, and knew he understood.

"But, my son, why did you not tell us of this before?"

"I didn' want ya all ta know."

"But why, Raphael?"

"Cuz by the time I got my head straight enough to remember it was even there, it was too late! I knew Donny couldn' do anythin' 'bout it anyways, an' I didn' want ya all to worry 'bout it."

The old rat sighed deeply, before placing his paw under Raph's chin and gently lifting his head, so that Raphael was now forced to make eye contact with him. "And this was the reason for your behaviour several nights ago." He said it as a statement, not needing Raphael to confirm it as being true. "My son, when will you learn that you do not have to bear everything alone? We are your family, and we love you no matter what happens. Your brothers are deeply concerned, and I think the least you owe them is an explanation."

"Yer right, Masta Splinta. I know I owe 'em a shell of a lot more than that, but it's all I can give, fer now." Raph responded quietly.

"Very well, my son. Take my hand, and we shall inform your brothers about what you have just told me." The turtle slowly got to his feet, took his sensei's hand, and together they walked from the red light and into the surrounding darkness.

* * *

"Donatello, my son, wake up. Raphael is awake." Master Splinter spoke softly, trying to arouse the purple-masked turtle gently.

"He's what?!" Donatello shot up out of bed, startling his sensei. He glanced at the clock, and was alarmed to see that he had been asleep for several hours, much longer than he had intended to sleep. "Sensei, it's been hours – why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"My son, you were exhausted, you needed rest. I told you I would only awaken you if there was a problem - everything has been fine, so there was no need to stop you getting a good long sleep. But never mind that, I must go inform your brothers that Raphael has awoken."

Soon, everyone was once again gathered in the infirmary, but now they were all relieved to see Raph awake and seemingly alright.

"My sons, Raphael has something very important to tell you, with regards to what happened the other night."

Now with his three brothers' full attention, Raph, now sitting upright, shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "I, er, I don' really know how to tell yer this." He rubbed the back of his head nervously, and the others thought how odd it was to see such a gesture from Raph – he _never _got nervous, or if he did he never showed it. He cleared his throat and quickly said at high-speed, "There's a tracker in my head, an' it's been activated, an' now Winthrop knows where I am."

Leo, Donny and Mikey simply stared at him for a moment, mouths hanging slightly open, trying to decipher what he had just said.

"What do you mean, there's a tracker in your head?" Donny asked, first to work out what his red-masked sibling had just told them.

"Winthrop put it there. He put it in my head, cos he knew that it would be almost impossible fer us to get it out, and cos ya probably wouldn' be able to detect it in the first place. It started beepin' that night, so I knew he'd finally activated it. As long as I'm alive, it'll send out a signal to 'im, tellin' 'im where I am. That's why I...why I asked ya ta...ta kill me." Raph finished quietly, staring down hard at his hands.

"But why will it only work while you're alive?" The scientist in Donny queried, his curiosity piqued.

"He said somethin' ta do with impulses, and that's why it doesn't need batteries, and can last for years."

"Harnessing the power from the electrical impulses of your brain? That could explain the convulsions then – as your stress levels increased, your brain was transmitting more and more electrical impulses, until at last there were too many, and it overloaded, thus causing the tracking device to electrocute you, causing the seizure." Donny rubbed his chin thoughtfully, simultaneously thinking how brilliant such a device was, and how diabolical such a mind must be to think of using it.

"So, what do we do about it?" Leo demanded, pushing his feelings of horror to the back of his mind.

"To be honest, Leo, I don't know. Winthrop was right – if the tracker is indeed planted on Raph's brain, then we can't remove it. Brain surgery is risky enough in a well-equipped hospital operating theatre, and a highly-trained surgeon, neither of which we have access to."

"So are you sayin' there's nuthin' we can do? You're givin' up?"

"Of course not, Mikey – I'm just saying that I have no idea what to do about it."

"But you do know what to do about it, Donny." They all turned to face Raph, who was now looking at them. "I already gave you the solution."

"No Raph! We told you the other night, and we haven't changed our minds. There must be another way, and we will find it, no matter what."

"There isn't time fer this, Leo! He's comin' – shell, he could be waitin' outside right now –"

"Then it's too late for us to do anything. We need to be ready to fight." Leo met his brother's hard gaze, and crossed his arms across his plastron.

"You don't understand – you CAN'T fight him! I won't let yer be taken by him! I can't let him do anythin' to ya! I need ta protect ya!"

"I am the leader, Raph! I am the elder brother! It's my job to protect _you, _and Donny and Mikey. It's not up to _you_ to protect _me_." He saw Raph about to retort, but stopped him by holding up his hand. "This discussion has ended – you need to rest now, and we'll come up with a plan of attack."

"You expect me to sleep, while the rest of ya fight fer yer lives? No way in shell, bro! I am not gonna sit on the sidelines and watch while ya fight him!"

"Raph, you're in no condition to fight –"

"Don't give me that, Donny! Sure I'm a little beat-up, but that is not gonna stop me!"

"Raph, you just had some kind of fit, and you're still not properly over what that scientist dude did to ya – shell, he even put the tracker-thing in your head that made you have the fit. So, maybe ya should listen to Donny."

"No Mikey, no way! I swore to ya a long time ago that I would protect ya, and I am not gonna break that promise! Shell, its cuz Winthrop did all this ta me that I need ta fight him!"

"Raph, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do, but it's for your own good." And with that, Donny grabbed a syringe from the counter, and jabbed it into Raph's arm. As the liquid emptied into Raph's bloodstream, Donny felt tears prick his eyes. "I' m sorry, bro," he repeated, as Raph finally succumbed to the effects of the sedative.

As he shakily set the needle down, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Don. You had to do it. How much did you give him?"

"Enough that he'll be out long enough for us to get ready for Winthrop. I don't know whether it'll last until Winthrop comes or not, but if the tracker has been activated for a few days, it seems likely that we could be attacked at any moment."

"Then we shouldn't waste any time." And with that, the three turtles and their sensei began planning how they would deal with the problem of Dr. Winthrop.

* * *

It was a couple of hours later, just as nightfall was taking place on the surface, that Raph suddenly awoke. "He's here!"

In a panic, he ripped all the wires out, causing the machine to make one long continuous 'beeeeeeeeeep' sound – until Raph put his fist through it, that is. He sprung out of bed, almost falling over – his legs felt like jelly, and an unfamiliar weakness made his limbs feel like lead. But he knew that Winthrop was here, and this thought gave him new strength – he knew what that madman was capable of, and there was no way in shell that he would ever let him get his hands on his family. As he raced into the main room, he felt a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised he was alone in the Lair. Stopping only to grab his sais from the dojo, he sprinted out of the lair, praying that he would not be too late.

* * *

**_Well, there's probably only gonna be one more chapter after this. :( I don't know whether I'm gonna do a sequel or not - I'll probably leave that up to you to decide. :)_**

**_But I will start focussing on 'Secret Weapon' next - I know raphfreak has been telling me for ages to update it, so I think I better do it before she tries to kill me. lol :D_**

**_As usual, reviews are much appreciated. And watch out on my profile for my new poll - it will affect you readers directly, so you'll definitely want to vote! :D_**


	22. The Finale

_**Well, here it is, the last chapter. I want to thank all my wonderful readers and reviewers for making this fic such a success, and for putting up with me and my long delays (and of course the talented raphfreak for her help and ideas along the way). :)**_

_**Well, don't worry, this isn't the last you'll see of me – I hope to be posting more fics soon (speaking of which, there is a poll on my profile page, which relates to my next fic, so you might want to check it out!).**_

_**Oh, and there is an attempt at a fight scene in this chapter – but, as I'm sure you're all aware of by now, I am useless at writing fight scenes, so I apologise for the poor quality in advance (I'm much better at writing torture scenes, I think). ;D**_

_**So, here's hoping you enjoy this final chapter!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own them. :(**_

* * *

It was silent in the sewers, as both parties simply stared at each other. Finally, someone broke the silence,

"Ah, I assume you are the *ahem* _family_."

"You are correct. And I take it you are Winthrop."

"_Dr _Winthrop, if you don't mind. But you seem to have me at a disadvantage – you know my name, yet I do not know yours."

"I am Leonardo. These are my other two brothers, Donatello and Michelangelo," he gestured to each of them. "And this is our sensei, Master Splinter." The old rat simply glared at the alleged doctor, who had dared to harm one of his children.

"I must admit, I am hurt that Raphael is not here to greet me himself," Winthrop said mockingly. "But no doubt you will keep me occupied until he arrives."

"Sorry dude, but Raph's not comin', and you won't be leavin' here alive." Mikey spun his nunchucks threateningly. Winthrop simply looked slightly amused.

"I think my soldiers here will be more than a match for the four of you – Mistress Karai informed me that they were some of her best ninjas. It seems she does not underestimate your abilities – you must be very capable warriors for her to go to such lengths to ensure our victory."

"We've faced the Foot many times before this, and won – what makes you think these guys will provide any more of a challenge?"

"The Foot you are used to are mostly lackeys and flunkeys – young men, boys really, barely trained past the basics. These men have been trained under Mistress Karai herself, and she hand-picked these as the most promising of her ninja. But we shall see whether her faith in them was unfounded, won't we?" Winthrop snapped his fingers and the Foot ninjas surged forward towards the three turtles and their sensei.

Ready for the attack, they too rushed forward to meet the small army of Foot.

"Deal with them quickly – Winthrop is the one we want!" Leo ordered, taking out two ninjas with one slash of his katanas.

"Got it, dude," Mikey replied, knocking one of the Foot out with a spin of his nunchuck. With several more expert twirls, another three fell unconscious at his feet.

Donatello swiped his bo under the feet of several of the black-clad men, causing them to fall on the floor in a heap. A few swift whacks to their heads, and they no longer posed a threat to any one this day.

Master Splinter was attempting to reach Winthrop through the crowd of ninja – he also dispatched several with a couple of roundhouse kicks.

But progress was slow – what had at first seemed like a fairly small team of Foot soldiers now seemed like a huge army: for every one Foot ninja that fell, another three were there to take his place. And they gradually seemed to be getting more powerful and less easy to take out.

Mikey voiced his concerns, "Hey dudes, is it just me, or do they seem to be getting stronger?" He attempted to knock out a couple of Foot with katanas, but only earned himself a few bruises and cuts.

"It seems to me that the Foot have changed tactics – send out the lowest-ranking ninjas first, and gradually work up to the Elite. I've got to admit, it's clever." Donny responded, blocking a blow from a naginata, before receiving a hard kick from an ashiko-wearing ninja.

"Come on, guys – keep it together! These are just the Foot – they're not smart enough to come up with something like that!" Leo slashed out with his katana, felling three ninjas at once, and quickly managed to parry several shuriken that had been thrown at him.

"Never underestimate an enemy, my sons! Simply focus on the task at hand!" Master Splinter commanded, still no closer to reaching Winthrop.

With each fresh wave of ninja, the turtles and their sensei felt themselves becoming overwhelmed – their energy was flagging, and as the Foot ninjas became more powerful and expert, they managed to get more hits in. But still the mutant family refused to give in – they would not allow themselves to be defeated as long as there was still breath in their bodies.

They seemed to be holding up fairly well, despite their numerous injuries, until Winthrop drew his hand from behind his back. There was a flash as light glinted off metal, then it was all over…

* * *

Raph splashed through the sewers, with only the distant sounds of battle to guide him. He kept up his sprinting pace, even though his lungs burned with each intake of air, and his muscles screamed at him to stop. But he fought through the pain, forcing his body to keep moving – he had to reach them before it was too late, if it was the last thing he did!

Several times he went in the wrong direction – the sounds reverberated and echoed throughout the sewer tunnels, throwing him off and misleading him. But soon the sounds of fighting got clearer – the clashes of metal on metal, the groans and thuds as individuals fell, the sickening snap of breaking bones, the grunts as a blow was delivered – and Raph was able to discern where the noise was coming from.

As he skidded round the corner, he felt his heart sink at what he saw before him. His three brothers and his sensei were lying motionless on the ground, amidst a sea of the inert black-clad bodies of the Foot. Now that he had stopped running, he felt like he would collapse at any moment. Eyes pricking with tears, he stepped over the bodies to reach his family. Suddenly, he was distracted by an all-too-familiar voice,

"Ah, Raphael, so glad you decided to join us." Raph whirled round to face the man who had tortured him, the man who had attacked his family. "I knew you would come eventually – but don't you know it's rude to keep your guests waiting?"

"How. Dare. Ya." Raph ground out through gritted teeth. The softness of his voice belied the intense anger and hatred that boiled through his bloodstream.

"Now, now, don't get upset –"

"UPSET?!" Raph roared, losing his temper. He drew his sais. "Ya come into my home an' attack my family, an' ya tell me not ta be UPSET?!"

"You brought it on yourself, you know." Dr Winthrop remained totally calm, staring intently at the red-masked turtle before him.

"Wha' the shell d'ya mean by that?!"

"Well, if you hadn't run away –"

"It wasn't my choice to leave, remember? If it was up ta me I'd have stayed in that cell an' –"

"Ah yes, I forgot – you were _rescued_, weren't you?" A smile played on Winthrop's lips – clearly toying with Raph was something he found highly amusing. "And you're right – it was Dr. Carr who ensured your escape –"

"Carr? What the shell did ya do ta him?"

"Raphael, you have to understand it wasn't my choice – I tried to save him, but his betrayal could not be forgiven. Such a waste – he was a very promising apprentice."

"Ya _killed_ him fer helpin' me?!"

"Oh no, not I – it was Mistress Karai. But I did not get off scot-free," he pointed to his left eye, "She took this from me – though this one looks like my original eye, this is actually a high-tech scanning device, something I invented. But that was not all." He now produced his right arm, which had been hidden behind his back. The light reflected off it, revealing that it was now made of metal. "But do not feel sorry for me, Raphael, for this is no ordinary prosthetic arm. It is another of my designs – think of it as a kind of high-tech Swiss army knife." And with that he demonstrated how the hand at the end could transform into a gun, a knife, a plasma cannon, etc. "Your family have actually already had the pleasure of experiencing the use of my new arm." He now transformed the metal hand into a two-pronged device, which had tiny bolts of electricity zapping intermittently between them. He fired it up and shot a small bolt at Raph. It was on a low setting and did little more than inflict pain, but Raph did not show any sign that it had affected him at all.

Instead, he continued glaring at Winthrop. "Ya make me sick – yer just another Stockman!"

"Oh not at all – I plan on keeping my brain in my skull. And of course, I will not allow there to be any more failures."

"Yer right – there won't be any more failures, cuz yer life ends t'night!"

"My, my, I can see that I failed in breaking your spirit. I had thought that attacking your family would have –"

"Don't ya dare talk about my family!" Raph gripped his sais tighter, prepared at any second to attack Winthrop.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine – I think. I honestly don't know – this is the first time I've used the taser, and perhaps the level could have been too high. No matter, you'll be back at my laboratory anyway, so you won't see them again either way."

With that, Raph lunged at Winthrop with a roar. There was a ringing clang as his sai made contact with the scientist's metal arm, which had now transformed into a tanto.

As Raph fought Winthrop, his brothers stirred but found themselves paralysed. So they were forced to look on helplessly as their already weakened brother fought for his life. Battling to remain conscious, they could only pray that he could win this fight – if he failed, he would most likely be taken back to Winthrop's laboratory, and all knew the horrific fate that awaited him there.

Raph sprung away from Winthrop, attempting to gain a few moments to recuperate. He had several gashes on his arms and legs, where he had been unable to dodge or block an attack, and he was finding it difficult to breathe in enough air. But he refused to surrender – he would never let that man take his brothers or his sensei. He would rather die than let this man walk away from this fight.

Winthrop was also breathing hard, but he also seemed to be enjoying this. It was as if he knew something that Raph didn't, something that made him invincible, as if he didn't think that his defeat was a possibility. This unnerved the hot-headed turtle, but only served to increase his determination to kill the mad scientist.

Without warning, Winthrop's arm became a chigiriki, and before Raph knew what was happening, the spiked ball on the end smashed into his lower plastron. Raph doubled over in pain, clutching the area. He felt warm liquid cover his palm. Looking at his hand, he saw the blood that covered it, and something about the redness of it gave him new strength. Maybe it was because red had always been his colour, the colour of his mask, the colour of his spirit, the colour that best described him. Or perhaps it was because red reminded him of his anger, his pain, his love for his family, his desire to protect them. Or it could have been a mixture of all this. Either way, he felt something inside him snap.

As the chain snaked its way around his body, he allowed it to jerk him forward, until he was within arms-length of Winthrop. In the second that the man was distracted with changing his weapon to deliver another blow, Raph took the opportunity and plunged his sai into the man's heart. He felt the warm blood spurt, spraying his green skin with the dark red liquid. He jerked the sai out and watched as Winthrop's lifeless body fell to the floor, blood quickly pooling around it, lapping against Raph's toes.

The other three turtles saw their brother deliver the death blow to Winthrop, before finally losing their battle with consciousness.

Raphael stood there for just a second, before tucking the bloodied sai back into his belt and turning his attention back to his brothers and sensei.

* * *

Donny was the first to awaken. He blinked several times, trying to clear his blurry vision, but achieving only a slight improvement. He managed to raise himself up slightly, until he was resting on his elbows. He glanced around and could make out that he was in the main room of the Lair, rather than the infirmary. He noticed Leo, Mikey and Master Splinter lying beside him, all three still asleep, with the worst of their injuries roughly bandaged, just like his. He was a little surprised that they weren't in the infirmary, but he supposed it was a miracle that Raph had been able to get them all back to the Lair on his own anyway. Raph! Donny quickly looked around in panic for him, but was relieved to see him sitting cross-legged on the floor a few feet away.

"Raph!" Don called softly. There was no response from the red-masked turtle. Donny repeated his call, but there was still no answer. Raph's eyes had a glazed look, and he was staring unblinkingly at the floor, apparently deep in thought. "Raph?" Donny repeated a little louder. This got Raph's attention. He jumped slightly in surprise, looking at Donny. Then he smiled, and came over to crouch by Donny's feet.

"Hey, Donny-boy. How d'ya feel?"

"I don't really know – everything seems a bit…fuzzy."

"Well, don' worry, braniac – everythin's fine. Go back to sleep – ya need ta rest."

"But Raph – what about you? You need to sleep too."

"I'll be fine, bro – I'll sleep once Casey and April get here. Sleep now, okay?"

Donny was reluctant to go back to sleep, but he could already feel his eyelids growing heavy. "Love ya, Raph," he murmured. Raph smiled.

"Love ya too, Donny." Thinking his purple-masked brother had fallen back asleep, Raph stood up with a slight groan. Then he turned and walked out of the room.

But Donny had not quite been asleep. In the last few seconds before he submitted to unconsciousness, Donny had seen his brother stand up, and when he let his hand fall to his side, he had seen the horrible injury that Winthrop had inflicted. But sleep was already pulling him away, and he could do nothing to prevent it – he attempted to call Raph back, but he lost his battle to stay awake before his lips could form his older brother's name.

* * *

"Raph!" Donny awoke yelling his brother's name.

"Sssshhhh, Donny! Calm down!" he recognised the voice to be April's.

Donny struggled to sit up, but felt strong hands push him back down, and the rough voice of Casey say, "No, Donny, ya gotta stay lyin' down, okay?"

"But you don't understand!" Donny cried, trying to fight against Casey. As his vision cleared, he saw both April and Casey looking at him, with worried looks on their faces.

"What don't we understand, Don?" Donny looked to his left and saw Leo, now sitting up in the bed next to him. Mikey was in the bed to Donny's right, propped up on pillows, also looking at his brother in bewilderment.

"Raph! Where's Raph?! I need to see him – now!"

"Donny – Raph isn't here." April spoke calmly, although inside she was filled with worry and sadness.

"What – what do you mean, April? He brought us to the Lair, I saw him. He –"

"He called us to say that you had been in some sort of fight, and that you guys needed medical attention, but when we got here just a couple of minutes after his call, he wasn't here."

"No, no, no!" Donny put his fists to the side of his head and shook his head violently from side to side.

"Donatello, my son, please calm down. Explain yourself." They all looked to the doorway, where Master Splinter was standing. His arm was bandaged, but other than that he looked completely fine.

Donny swallowed hard, and relayed all that he knew. "…I saw Raph kill Winthrop, by stabbing him through the heart. Then I fell unconscious. And then I woke up and we were in the Lair. Raph must have brought us all there by himself, and he'd roughly bandaged the worst of our wounds. I spoke to him briefly, but I couldn't stay awake long. He thought I'd gone to sleep, and he stood up and left the room, and just before he turned and walked away, he let his hand fall to his side. His lower plastron had been smashed up by the chigiriki Winthrop was using – it was awful! I tired to call him back, but I fell asleep before I could do anything."

The others were all silent for a minute. "It wasn't your fault, Donny." Leo said softly.

"Of course it was! I should have stayed awake! I should have made sure that he was okay!"

"Donny, you did the best you could. You were badly injured yourself."

"But you didn't see his injury, guys – I did! It was really horrific – his plastron had just been smashed like an egg-shell. There was blood – a lot of blood." Donny fell silent, feeling sick as he recalled the sight. Then he shakily asked, "How long have I been out?"

"A couple of days – we did attempt to look for Raph, but you guys were all so sick, we couldn't leave you for long."

"A couple of days?! And you haven't seen him at all during that time?!"

April shook her head, staring at the floor.

Donny simply paled, and whispered, "This can't be happening."

"Donny – Donny, what's wrong, dude?" Mikey did not like the feeling of dread that was developing in the pit of his stomach.

Tears trickled down Donny's face as he replied, in a voice shaky with emotion, "Raph…Raph was too injured…judging by what I saw he…he… couldn't have survived more than a few hours without proper medical treatment, especially given the fact he wasn't 100-percent recovered to begin with. And it's been two days, so… so…" Donny simply fell silent, letting his silent tears fall unrestrained. He laid back down and turned onto his plastron, burying his head into his pillow so no one could hear his sobs.

Leo, Mikey, April, Casey and Master Splinter simply looked on in horror, too shocked at this moment to even cry.

* * *

Casey wiped the tears from his face and set out from the Lair. He was on a mission to find his best friend – although if Donny was correct, and he usually was, it would only be a body Casey would be bringing back. He now looked carefully at the spots of blood that intermittently dotted the sewer tunnel floor – on previous searches, he and April had assumed they were from when the guys had come home, but now it seemed the trail of blood could actually have been created when Raph left the Lair.

As he followed the trail, Casey saw evidence of places where Raph had stumbled – bloody three-fingered handprints, where Raph had touched the wall to steady himself, large splashes of blood on the floor where he had fallen, then bloody footprints where he had continued walking. Casey didn't know how far he had walked, or for how long, but the uncertainty made it seem like he had walked for hours and covered several miles. In reality, it had only been about ten minutes, and not even a mile.

Casey didn't realise it at first, but he was actually walking towards the place where the battle had taken place. As he stepped out of the tunnel into a wider area, he soon realised that this must have been where the guys had fought Dr Winthrop. Now there were no signs of the Foot – all the bodies had vanished, and it was only the blood stains on the floor that gave evidence of the violence that had taken place here. Casey spotted an especially large pool of blood on the far side of the battle ground, which he guessed must have been where Raph had defeated Winthrop. But there was no body here now, just a pool of blood, and that would soon be washed away when the next rainstorm filled the sewer tunnels with water.

Casey was just turning to leave when a flash of light reflecting off something metallic caught his eye. He went closer to the bloody puddle and his face paled several shades. For there, in the midst of that dark red liquid, lay Raph's bloodied sai, with Dr Winthrop's security pass wrapped around its hilt.

* * *

_**So, that's the end, folks – or is it? (hehe) ;)**_

_**I have been toying with the idea of a sequel, and would love to hear your thoughts on this. **_

_**Also, please do check out the poll on my profile page, cos I really do wanna know what fic you would like to see next (after Secret Weapon, of course).**_

_**And, could you all please do me one last favour? Please review and let me know what you thought, even if it's just a couple of words. It would really mean a lot to me. :)**_

_**So, until the next time, bye for now. xxx**_


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